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Why Journaling Works & How to Do It Better

Do you Journal?  If not, what’s holding you back and if you do, what keeps you going?

A lot of people journal to release emotion and organize their feelings. To be honest, we’re all out here experiencing about 27 emotions daily. That is quite a ride and it’s tough to manage it all. So, what we’re doing is taking the emotion adding to it our daily responsibilities plus the needs and expectations from others and then attempting to get through the day without a method to release. This is the perfect formula for a mental breakdown.

I get it, we want to appear like we have our stuff together with little resistance, add to that this whole self-care trend of “don’t kill my vibe, “don’t interrupt my peace” and “don’t bother me with that”, this leaves us feeling obligated to hold in our emotions.

I’ve found journaling to be a helpful outlet. During those times when I am overflowing with emotions, both positive and negative, journaling helps me to reflect on events, organize my thoughts, release some pinned up energy and even generate solutions. It’s one of the many tools that can be used to re-direct your energy.

There’s another benefit of journaling that very few people notice. Journaling helps you to identify trends. If you journal often and notice a trend of negative or low-energy words and phrases, it’s safe to say you are probably suffering with Imposter Syndrome, self-sabotage and maybe even low self-esteem. If this is you, it’s time for a change in perspective.

I deal with those feelings too. I doubt my abilities, second guess my capabilities and I will overthink a scenario to the very extreme. It’s quite exhausting but I’ve figured out how to manage those feelings.

If you’ve been a member of the Origins of Peace community for any amount of time, you know that our #1 goal is to empower you to get out here and Impress Yourself. There are two reasons why this is important:cropped-origins-of-peace-1-1.png

  1. If you don’t impress yourself, no one else will ever stand a chance of impressing you. This is important for business deals, relationships, money goals, all of that. You must set a standard and stick to it. Example, if you want to be in a loving relationship, you must first love yourself. Impress yourself by doing things you enjoy and going to places that make you happy. This produces impression and excitement. It’s mentally stimulating, and it gets you into the habit of Impressing Yourself so that you will know when others are meeting and exceeding your expectations!
  2. A whole lot of time is spent impressing other folks. You impress your boss when you show up for work and do an exceptional job, you impress your kids by showing up for them daily. It’s time to Impress Yourself!

For the month of November, I am challenging you to use journaling as a tool to change your communication message to yourself! There are 30 days in November. I am giving you 1 word each day to use as a prompt. You will reflect on how the word shows up in your life on that day and compose a journal entry. Your entry can be written or a short video that you keep on your phone. The words that I provide to you should evoke feelings of happiness, bravery, calmness, rejuvenation and friendliness.create-her-stock-office-beauty4

I would love to know how this challenge goes for you. You can find me on both IG and Facebook at Origins of Peace to get the word for the day.

You can leave a comment one either platform to get the dialogue started.

Oh yea, if you’re not on my email list, you should be. Our next gratitude offering winner will be announced on Monday, November 4th. You must be on the list to get included in the drawing! Visit www.melissaarivers.com to sign up. You can see the prize for Monday’s drawing on my IG page.

Let’s connect!

Melissa

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Remember When

Can you remember the last time that you were excited by the ordinary? I’m talking about those simple pleasures that we often taken for granted like nature, peace, love and even silence. Oftentimes we find ourselves caught up in acquiring more, achieving more and constantly looking for the next promotion, elevation or fancy purchase that we believe will help us to find happiness.

This past weekend, I had the pleasure of watching my grandbaby experience excitement from being able to play with a lid. As I watched her face glow with amusement, I could only think about how easy it is to forget about the simple things that once provided us with joy.

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“I have three things to teach: simplicity, patience, compassion. These three are your greatest treasures.” `Lao Tzu

Today I am sharing 3 tips about simplicity, patience and compassion that may help you live a happier life.

  1. Living a life of simplicity will help you focus on what is important. Let me first start by saying that simplicity looks different for everyone and only you can decide what simplicity looks like for you. Personally I enjoy things with low or no maintenance, little fuss and very little worry. I normally spend more time, money and energy researching a product or service before making a purchase to alleviate or reduce the amount of stress that comes with a lot of wear and tear. Because I am a person who experiences anxiety when things are out of order, I attempt to maintain as much order as possible by keeping it simple.
  2. Be patient with yourself and others. Patience is important because it helps you build empathy for others and accept people for who they are. That last statement is so true but please understand that having patience with yourself is priority number one because it helps you become more tolerant of the different stages of life that you will experience. There will come a time when you feel inadequate. Instead of getting discouraged and beating yourself up remember to exercise patience!
  3. Extend compassion as often as possible. Have you ever found yourself saying, “it’s always something,” or “why can’t I ever catch a break?” The people around you are saying the same statements to themselves. Be kind and extend compassion to the next person because everyone is experiencing life and sometimes life can be tough.

Fill your life with simplicity, patience and compassion to not only live happier but also to live healthier. Incorporating these tips can reduce your stress level and boost your immune system.

In my last post I challenged you to make a list of the people, places, things and experiences that add peace to your life. If you’re not familiar, catch up by reading

Grace & Mercy Have My Back

Now that you have your list, use the following scale to rank the level of peace each item adds:

  • 1-not much peace
  • 2- moderate amount of peace
  • 3-extreme peace

To elevate your Peace Factor spend more time focusing on the items ranked with a 3, determine if items ranked with a 2 can be elevated to a three and consider what changes should be made to remove or redefine items ranked with a 1.

This exercise can be challenging. If at anytime you feel yourself needing support simply email me at: info@designedbymelissarivers.com

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Grace & Mercy Have My Back!

If you are new to my page, my name is Melissa Rivers and I am a Creative Peace Coach! In everyday terms this means I am a Conflict Resolution Strategist. I use my gifts of creativity and communication to teach strategies that provide guidance to achieving mental clarity, embracing self-preservation and prioritizing service to others.

Today we are discussing Affirmation #3 from my Instagram 5 Day Affirmation Challenge –  “I am professing my boldness by trusting grace and mercy to follow me, believing that greater days are in front of me and knowing that God is for me.”

I am on a mission of intention to impress myself in all areas of my life every single day.

Screenshot_20190918-161237The inspiration behind the third affirmation is sheer determination. I am creating a new blueprint for how I manage my wellness dimensions, and trusting that things will be better than they’ve ever been.

If you are not familiar with the Dimensions of Wellness, they are: Spiritual, Physical, Emotional, Environmental, Intellectual, Social, Occupational and Financial.

I am deconstructing each area and authentically rebuilding. I am shaking things up, moving things around, possibly leaving things behind and definitely welcoming new experiences. My faith walk and “works” are in full affect.

I am trusting God to create new opportunities and new spaces for me, but I also understand that my reasonable service is to put in the work to acquire the newness.

I am definitely ready.

Just the other day, I signed up for a personal development class and mistakenly showed up to the venue on the wrong day. I walked into a room filled with women discussing wealth and investments, professing their love of God and sharing personal success stories about their finances. These were definitely my people.

This diverse group of women welcomed me in to their sacred space and made room for me at their table. Grace & Mercy had my back!

Not too long ago, circumstances made it necessary for me to cash in my retirement savings to pay for routine expenses; mortgage, healthcare, groceries, and all those other things you need to survive. This was an extremely uncomfortable time for me because I held the belief that retirement funds should only be used for living expenses during retirement. I quickly learned that “change is the only thing that is constant,” and I now appreciate doing the work to have the funds available when I needed them most.

When the time was right, I began rebuilding my retirement fund. I prayed for guidance and instruction on how to strategically rebuild my account.

In return, God sent me to this group of women who will educate, encourage and support me along the way.

This was a gentle reminder that miracles happen when awe & expectancy intersect. As the affirmation declares, I am boldly trusting grace & mercy to follow me while believing God that my greater days are in front of me!

So here’s what’s important. Everyone experiences times in life when a shift is necessary. If you’ve noticed yourself feeling stuck, stagnant, unmotivated, unimpressed, disgruntled, conflicted or simply not in the mood for alot of *______* (you fill in the blank) it’s time to shake things up.

It’s time to get your energy up, increase your creativity and start doing and enjoying things that add Peace to your life!

So here’s your chance to get involved and start the process of intentionally impressing yourself every single day! I challenge you to take out a piece of paper and make a list of all the people, places, things and experiences that add peace to your life. Be intentional and truthful about what you add to it. Exam your list and take notice of the types of items that are on your list.

Which categories show up the most and which categories are lacking?

For now, just do the work to develop your list and I promise to discuss this process in more detail at a later time. If you have question feel free to shoot me an email at: info@designedbymelissarivers.com

If you haven’t already subscribed to my blog and signed up for my newsletter. I would love to have you join my Peace Community!

  • Simply head over to www.melissaarivers.com
  • When the pop-up form appears, enter your name and email address to subscribe to my newsletter
  • You can subscribe to my blog from the About Me page in the bottom right corner
  • You can also follow me on Instagram at: @originsofpeace and Facebook at: Origins of Peace

My 2020 Vision Board and Goal Setting Circles will start next month. Details coming soon!

Until next time,

Peace, Love & More Peace!

Melissa

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Professional Habits To Maintain in Your 40’s That Will Keep You Feeling Peaceful

As a forty-something female professional, there are habits that you can implement or release that will boost your professional self-confidence and empower you to trust yourself more.

If you’ve been in your current position for an extended period of time, you may feel underwhelmed and uninspired. It may be difficult for you to focus on your work and deliver your absolute best. Unless you work for yourself or you operate the family business, this can be a real problem. Depending on who’s watching, you could find yourself in a situation where management doesn’t feel like you take your responsibilities seriously. If you work for yourself and fail to deliver a stellar product, you could appear as an amateur to those you conduct business with.

When I returned to work after recovering from cancer, I was my biggest critic. I felt insecure about my appearance and I didn’t feel on top of my game because personal development and professional training had taken a back seat to my recovery. I was also well over 40 and the corporate workplace was now flooded with Millennials!

Upon returning, there were several things that I did to boost my confidence. Today I am sharing 3 of my signature tips that will help you operate from a place of grace instead of  a place of constant hustle.

The objectives are to be more polished, to trust yourself more and to feel good about who you are!

  1. Develop and implement a morning routine.
    • Wake up early, spend time in prayer, affirm what you want and meditate on the good, positive situations that you are welcoming into your day.
  2. Release actions that are unnecessary.
    • If you’re a woman who constantly apologizes even when situations do not warrant an apology, Stop. Over apologizing makes it appear that you are unsure you belong in the room. When these feeling arise (Imposter Syndrome) remember; you did the work to be in the room and grace elevates you further than effort ever will, Receive It.
  3. Remain Inspired.
    • If you’re not excited by your work, find inspiration in the daily details. Examine your partnerships, goals, expected outcomes and even your clothing and accessories to find inspiration. I recently found inspiration in a pair of beautiful, hand-crafted earrings which where created by Angelique Car, owner of tha dak brand.

      Check out these beauties!

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Are you inspired yet!?!

I’m inspired by the collaboration and individuality of the materials that were used. Each element has a specific purpose and performs a distinct role in the overall design. These earrings simply make me happy and that’s exactly what our clothing and accessory choices should do.

Here’s what Angelique has to say about her designs:

“Each pair of earrings are unique and one of a kind. I allow my creative wave to do it’s thing in the moment. Sometimes I come up with designs that really show what my mood was at that time. I feel like that’s what makes them so special, they are genuinely made with a little soul and a lot of life! I am at a very happy place in my life right now, and I am grateful that I can birth something that allows me to share that with the world.”

I can’t help but think about the individual gifts and talents that women posses. We are strong, resilient, tender and creative all at the same damn time.

At any given point we have the flexibility and ingenuity to pull from those resources to accomplish our goals and to create something beautiful. When opportunities arise for us to combine our gifts with the gifts of the next woman, we can come together and make a beautiful masterpiece, just like those earrings!

As promised, I have one more bonus tip for you.

  1. BONUS – Find your passion and cultivate it.
    • Peace is my passion. With my passion I choose to teach conflict resolution strategies to women that provide guidance for mental clarity, self-preservation and service to others. I also create courses that empower women to trust themselves more! This is my passion and how I use it. To discover your passion, grab my e-book; Design Your Happy Track To Peace and schedule a Consultation so we can chat!

If you are interested in learning more about Angelique and her upcoming fall collection, check her out on Instagram at: @thadakbrand or shoot her an Email at thadakbrand@gmail.com. You can also find her on Facebook at: tha dak brand.

If you’re a female business owner or simply a female with a positive and uplifting message to share, let’s link up! I would love to feature you on my blog and learn more about what you’re up to.

Create Your Peace!

Melissa

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Your Heart Is Bigger Than You Think

I used to think that I only had a limited amount of space in my heart to love and appreciate certain situations, including people. I was convinced that my capacity meter for “stuff” was on the fairly low side. Over the years I’ve been met with unexpected events that challenged my perceived personal truths but also ignited my will to overcome and win. I’ve learned that people are designed to be durable and flexible if we choose to operate at full capacity. Today, I am sharing 3 points of action with you, that will help you create more space in your heart to accept, embrace and handle whatever you find yourself dealing with.

  1. Understand why life has presented you with this opportunity

One of my favorite scriptures in the Bible is; Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you an expected end.”  From this scripture, I am reassured that unexpected events can actually be a blessing in disguise. When the event is truly embraced, our thoughts aren’t directly centered on our personal needs alone and we are challenged to think higher and to make peace with the situation

2.  Focus only on what you have control over

Focus and take action on what you can control and have faith that the things you can’t control will also get taken care of. I’ve learned that good things are often orchestrated on my behalf simply because I did my part and showed up when it was my time to perform. You can find opportunities to be a blessing to others when they least expect it. Believe that the people you are connected to can’t fully do their work/assignment until you complete yours, and you can’t complete your work until others complete theirs. Things that we don’t have control over aren’t ours to control, they are simply an associated assignment. It’s not yours to handle but it is connected to you

3. Remain present and at peace

Do what you can today in order to accept what you’re facing. Taking small, daily steps toward acceptance will open your heart to new capacities of love and will help you navigate through unexpected change.

Challenge: Think about the most intensive challenge that you are currently facing and decide that you are going to rise to the occasion. What can you do today to embrace the change and release negative thoughts surrounding it. How will you show up? Who will you become after it’s over?

Note: To the Origins of Peace community, “thank you all so much for following the blog and for connecting with me in so many different ways. Effective immediately, blog posts will release once a month on or around the 10th of each month, and the Heal, Recover, Grow Newsletter will release quarterly. The next issue is scheduled to release on July 1st.”

You can always connect with me on all social media as Origins of Peace or by emailing me at: info@designedbymelissarivers.com

Peace In Action,

Melissa

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Serene Surroundings

It is officially Spring and I am excited! I am jumping at the chance to create new experiences and to really show gratitude for all that I have and for all that I have overcome. Spring represents newness and rebirth to me. Some of my most challenging experiences have happened during the Spring season, which lead to a new perspective. I now view those experiences as methods that helped me to gain confidence and a new outlook on life. Now more than ever I am determined to live better, make smarter choices and to simply be happy.

It’s easy to overlook the need for change and understand when a fresh start is necessary. Falling into habit and sticking with the routine of how things are traditionally done is simple to do. It’s important for you to know that you are a unique and creative individual. You have the ingenuity and innovation to create space for new opportunities in your life. Maybe you’re just stuck and can’t figure out what’s next. Maybe you’ve told yourself numerous times that you’re not able or that you are incapable of achieving your dreams. Sometimes all it takes is some fresh perspective and a little readjusting.  Readjusting your mental space and your physical space. I appreciate when my space (both mental and physical) is conducive of peace and creativity. When I am at Peace in my space, I can work and create without feeling stifled, but when things are out-of-order, I am totally out of alignment. How about you? What are you looking forward to in this new season and what’s holding you back from going after it?
Many of my ideas are inspired while I am in my backyard, my sacred space. There’s this spot between two of my plum trees that provides me with peaceful and serene feelings. Where’s your space? Have you created a special place in your home or office that sparks your creativity. If you’re feeling stifled and your space is offering you everything but peace, it’s probably time to switch things up.   

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I’ve created a free, easy to follow, six step checklist that will help you to create a more peaceful space. You definitely want to get your hands on it if you want to bring calm and relaxation into your midst. It might be just what you need to usher in the newness that Spring has to offer. Once you download your checklist and implement the changes, you will be on the right road to start creating new experiences. It doesn’t stop with your space, you have 8 areas of wellness that require attention. Your next step is to decide what new experiences you’re going to create and what does the process look like for you? Decide what brings you peace and then go get it! Peaceful Space

If you’re ready to do the work and design a more peaceful life, I would love to work with you and help discover your origins of peace. Schedule a Discovery Call by clicking the button below. Let 2019 be your year to succeed.  Schedule Appointment

Peace!

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A Place To Breathe

Good Morning PeaceMakers. I pray that today holds all the peace, love and acceptance that your heart can hold.

If this is your first time on my site, My name is Melissa Rivers and I am a Creative Peace Designer. That means I use my gifts of creative writing & teaching to help others manage conflict and create mental space for more peaceful opportunities in their lives. My motto for today is: “peace starts with a made up mind.”

So let’s get to it:

My intent for this post – I’m writing this morning at 4:30 am because writing/ journaling settles my mind and helps me to organize my thoughts. I guess you could say that I am at peace when I create a short narrative, or inspirational message. Writing is one of my Origins of Peace and my place to breathe. It’s important for each of us to find what helps us breathe deeper and a little easier. The sweet aroma of creativity helps us not to take ourselves so seriously and as adults that can be hard to do.

What’s important for you to know: You gotta breathe. Close your eyes and visualize those activities that you participated in as a kid. Did you dance, sing or take piano lessons. Maybe it was art class or violin practice. Whatever it was, did it provide a few minutes of relief and escape for you? Along with writing, I absolutely loved ballet & gymnastics class. I can remember practicing my back-flip and no-hand cartwheels for hours on end. I’ve never really been great at ballet, but I can remember putting on my pink ballet slippers for the first time along with my white tights and black leotard. I was free to be me.

What matters: You were created to be serious and carefree at the same time. Life will impose it constraints and restrictions upon you but you cannot let that stop your creativity. Your foundational purpose is found in the weeds of your place to breathe and your responsibilities. Intentionally show up for yourself each day in a creative way. If not, you’ll get lost and be afraid of who you truly are. You have too much goodness, purity and creativity to be anyone other than yourself.  Show up for you & breathe.

I offer a session called Peace Mapping where I help you identify areas of conflict in your life and design a strategy that helps you to make different choices and create mental space for a more peaceful lifestyle. I would love to help you find your place to breathe.

To book a session, simply click here to get started.

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The Best Program I Ever Developed Turned Out To Be An Absolute Bust ☹

For months I spent countless hours praying, researching, developing and consulting to include the right content that would make my program memorable and successful.

In spite of my efforts, there were things that I missed. I failed to include some important factors, which turned out to be a major misstep for me.

The program that I am referring to is my wedding and subsequently, my marriage.

September 18, 2010 was supposed to be the beginning of a life full of wedded bliss for me. In spite of the time spent planning and preparing, things didn’t quite turn out the way that I envisioned.  Yes the ceremony took place and it was beautiful but the marriage didn’t last.

In hindsight, more time should have been spent understanding what I needed in a spouse and what would be required of me in order to have a successful marriage. Although I believe wholeheartedly in redemption, I can honestly say I consider this to be one of my biggest missed opportunities.

Can you relate? Have you ever exhausted all of your efforts and energy working on a ‘thing’ that didn’t turn out right? Are you tired of starting a project but never seeing it through to completion? Like years in the past, did you set goals for 2019 but have no idea how you’re going to accomplish them?

I believe that all things start from within and now is the perfect time to start fresh. In order to properly set my intentions toward success in 2019, I am dedicating three days to fasting, prayer & meditation, visualization and affirmations.

I invite you to join me.

Beginning January 14th, we will spend the first 20 minutes of each day with scriptures, affirmations and guided words for visualization that promote success, empowerment and completion.

I will post the affirmation cards on Sunday, January 13th at midnight. If you’re in, comment on the post or shoot me an email at melissarivers75@gmail.com.

You owe it to yourself to finish what you’ve started.

Let’s do this!

Much Love,

Melissa

 

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My Soul Says Yes

Being emotionally well means that you have the ability to be aware of and accept your feelings, rather than deny them. You’re attentive to your thoughts, feelings and behaviors, both positive and negative.

I work with many women who carry an immense amount of guilt for various reasons. They feel guilty for settling in life, love and career. They feel guilty for occasionally wanting to choose themselves and say no to the demands of others. They feel guilty for wanting to be number one but always settling for a lower position.

This guilt carries a lot of weight and many adverse affects. Before you know it, feelings of stress and overwhelm consume you and you’ve lost your true self. You’re no longer the bold and confident woman that you once were.

When is enough…enough? When is it okay to put yourself first? Do you even know how to ask for better treatment and what does better treatment look like for you?

My goal as a Peace Coach is to help re-write your personal narrative. If you’re currently living a life that is not authentic to who you truly are, allow me to help you find your “Origins of Peace.”

Your “Origins of Peace” are the fundamental necessities that keep you grounded and at ease. The circumstances of life tend to make us forget what makes us happy, peaceful and full of joy. I can help you reconnect the dots.

If you are experiencing a disconnect in your life, start by reciting the Personal Plea below to make room for peace in your life.

Personal Plea

It’s me oh Lord. Standing in the need of being free from myself. Free from fear, self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy. These feelings have prevailed for far too long.

No longer do I want to worry about trivial matters that highjack my attention and hold my emotions hostage.

Today I will focus on calming the noise, accepting my vulnerabilities and being free to explore new perspectives.

No more mental battles. No more thoughts of defeat.

No more.

My Soul says yes to change. Restore my compassion towards myself. Renew my mind from crippling information. Touch me so that I am made whole.

I am strong and mighty in the earth. I have purpose and a mission to complete.

Thank you God for leading the way.

Much Love,

Melissa

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