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Reciprocity!

Tip 4: You Do Not Have to Be a Ride or Die Partner
Let go of being the “ride or die” in all your relationships. A woman who is a “ride or die” is someone who will do whatever for a person they love. This can be a partner, friend or family member. Usually, it means you exhibit an extreme loyalty that can also lead you into unfulfilling situations. Ask yourself “why should you die for love?” (mentally, physically or emotionally)
Stop seeking relationships where you can act as a savior to an individual. Find connections where the energy you put out is reciprocated. Listen to your intuition and embrace relationships that elevate your life!
Expert from Self-Care for Black Women pg:139
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Weekly Devotional – Grounded for Stability

Outside of relationship with God, I am lost. There are no number of Social Activities, Work Engagements or other Commitments that allow me to feel the same satisfaction as having a true and uninhibited relationship with God.

In relationship I find peace, understanding, structure and stability.

I will embrace my uniqueness and seek to fully understand the work that I have been purposed to complete.

The closer I move toward God the more I understand who I am in him.

  • Words of reflection: relationship, satisfaction, uniqueness, uninhibited, purposed, structure, stability
  • Inspiration: Jesus Calling / Page:211
  • Scripture Reference: Psalm 42:1-2; Psalm 34:5; Philippians 2:15

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The Law of Magnetism for Time Management & Organization

This week at Origins of Peace, LLC we’re focusing on Time Management and Organization. My goal is to introduce a few tips and techniques that you can put into action that will hopefully help you maximize your day and add peace to what may be a chaotic daily routine. The tools that I share can be used both personally and professionally.

The first thing that I want you to do is take a brief self-assessment. Circle all of the words below that describe how you are currently feeling or have felt in the past 7 days:

anxious              procrastination              lack of sleep              lack of focus       low energy            missed deadlines           decreased work productivity             overextension

panicky              over-whelm                     lateness                       stress                      irritably                 tardiness                             decreased quality of work                  inability to set and achieve goals

Reflect on the words that you circled as you dive into this week’s materials.

We’re kicking things off by looking at one of the 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership. Proper leadership is important in your personal and professional life. Let’s be real, if you can’t properly lead your own life, you have absolutely no business trying to influence anyone else. The Law of Magnetism says, ‘who you attract is not determined by what you want, it’s determined by who you are. Let’s think about who you are in relation to this law. Are you anxious, panicky, stressed or irritable? Do you procrastinate, have low energy, or feel over-whelmed? If any of these describe how you are feeling or have recently felt, you have to put structure around those negatives in order to transpose them into positives.

Poor Time Management and inefficient Organization are often the cause of many of these symptoms. If you feel erratic, you will attract erratic elements into your life. This includes people, circumstances and feelings.

In your personal life, incorporate activities that allow you to save time and make things more convenient for yourself. I like to utilize Meal Prepping to help me stay on track with healthy eating and to save time. I like to pre-make my meals on Sunday and Wednesday for three days at a time. Meal Prepping allows me to create routine and habit in my life. If nutrition is important to you, give Meal Prepping a try.

I also use Calendars and Planners to help me keep up with appointments and obligations. In the past I’ve always started the year off using these tools but after a few months of documenting my schedule, my consistency waivers. This year I’m using “The Very Busy Planner” by Amy Knapp. This all-inclusive planner has prompts to help you reflect on your goals, tips to keep your happiness elevated and quotes to get you inspired! One of my favorite pages in this planner is the “Lemons to Lemonade” page. It’s an ideation page that provides space for me to jot down activities that promote joy when I’m feeling down.

In your professional life, self-care is important as well as digital transformation.

For self-care I pull out all the stops. When you start a self-care routine it is important to incorporate things that speak to you personally. I incorporate massages, meal prep, sound therapy, time management, daily devotions and self-help rituals. Out of all these things, the most important self-care technique that I incorporate is creating my own personal narrative. I personally believe life is what you make it and how you start doesn’t dictate how things will end for you. You have the power to change your situation and create a new way forward. If you’ve been around here long enough, you’ve heard of a Peace Map. Use the template below to start your journey.

Digital Transformation is a company’s ability to integrate technology into its processes and business structure. If you are a business owner, consider using Google or Microsoft Products to help organize your business and provide structure. You can create and store your files online, facilitate online coaching and consulting sessions and even host group workshops. The number of business opportunities available to you through digital transformation is incredible. To incorporate Digital Transformation, you have to understand your services and the processes used to accomplish them. If you need help achieving this, use the contact form below to set an appointment with me.

This week, through narratives, videos and audio recordings I will share more content to help you refine your Time Management and Organizational Skills. Take the following actions to get access to all of my content:

If you need assistance creating your plan for better Time Management and Organization, contact me using the form below.

 

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You Should Definitely Write This Down!

Today my mind kept pondering on one thought….”I wonder how America’s response to this pandemic will be documented in history books.”

I mean we are directly in the midst of a pandemic and America basically said enough playing it safe, we have to re-open, we must re-open! Covid-19 cases are continuing to rise and social distancing is becoming non-existent.

No vaccine, no documented way of slowing the spread beside staying put and all 50 of the United States of America are in some variation of the re-opening phase.

Personal thoughts aside, it’s happening. I just wonder how we’re going to look on the other side of this. When the federal government initially predicted 100k deaths everyone was like what, wow, why would they say that but last time that I checked, we were at 96k. Not too far from 100k. I guess WuTang Clan called it in 1994, when they said, “Cash Rules Everything Around Me!”

I say all of this to remind you to journal. You should definitely document this period in time and document your personal thoughts. It’s a great way to release tension and also to reflect on current events.

Some of the greatest solutions are developed after the fact. So grab your pen & notebook and be sure to journal.  

I’ve added a journal to my product offering and I would love for you to purchase one. Head over to my site: www.melissaarivers.com/products and grab your Origins of Peace Journal.

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Remaining Positive in Negative Situations

One of the hardest things people attempt to do during the holiday season is “attempt to remain positive when tensions are high.

One of the most common reasons this issue occurs is because people place themselves under a tremendous amount of pressure to show up and be present when they are feeling disconnected from friends and loved ones. To alleviate these feelings, the answer isn’t always as simple as saying no to an invitation or failing to show up for a gathering. Oftentimes the people who need your presence are the very ones who aggravate you to no end.

With that being said, I’m here to support you.  I want to make sure that your energy is high, your vibe is positive, and you are ready to celebrate with those you love.

I’m providing you with 2 quick and easy to follow tips to protect your energy and remain positive during the holiday season.  

  1. Create a Visualization Shield. Visualization Shields are used to block out negative energy while allowing positive energy to flow without restriction. Start by taking a few deep breaths and then get perfectly still. Close your eyes and visualize a colorful, vibrant shield of love. In that shield you have peace, protection and amazing vibrancy. Your shield is your safe place that allows you to be present but protected.
  2. Create a Social Wellness Plan. Create a plan that allows you to engage socially but also respects your personal boundaries. A good plan includes a Mission Statement, Established Goals, Executable Objectives, a Realistic Action Plan and a Sustainability Plan. This comprehensive plan is important for maintaining your Peace.

One of the most impactful ways of managing your Peace is to have a well, developed plan. My latest course, Peace by Design is available at my online school, The Design Academy. You can choose between General, VIP or Platinum Access to choose the best option for your needs.

Cheers to a Peacefully Positive Holiday Season!

Create Your Peace.

 

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Why Journaling Works & How to Do It Better

Do you Journal?  If not, what’s holding you back and if you do, what keeps you going?

A lot of people journal to release emotion and organize their feelings. To be honest, we’re all out here experiencing about 27 emotions daily. That is quite a ride and it’s tough to manage it all. So, what we’re doing is taking the emotion adding to it our daily responsibilities plus the needs and expectations from others and then attempting to get through the day without a method to release. This is the perfect formula for a mental breakdown.

I get it, we want to appear like we have our stuff together with little resistance, add to that this whole self-care trend of “don’t kill my vibe, “don’t interrupt my peace” and “don’t bother me with that”, this leaves us feeling obligated to hold in our emotions.

I’ve found journaling to be a helpful outlet. During those times when I am overflowing with emotions, both positive and negative, journaling helps me to reflect on events, organize my thoughts, release some pinned up energy and even generate solutions. It’s one of the many tools that can be used to re-direct your energy.

There’s another benefit of journaling that very few people notice. Journaling helps you to identify trends. If you journal often and notice a trend of negative or low-energy words and phrases, it’s safe to say you are probably suffering with Imposter Syndrome, self-sabotage and maybe even low self-esteem. If this is you, it’s time for a change in perspective.

I deal with those feelings too. I doubt my abilities, second guess my capabilities and I will overthink a scenario to the very extreme. It’s quite exhausting but I’ve figured out how to manage those feelings.

If you’ve been a member of the Origins of Peace community for any amount of time, you know that our #1 goal is to empower you to get out here and Impress Yourself. There are two reasons why this is important:cropped-origins-of-peace-1-1.png

  1. If you don’t impress yourself, no one else will ever stand a chance of impressing you. This is important for business deals, relationships, money goals, all of that. You must set a standard and stick to it. Example, if you want to be in a loving relationship, you must first love yourself. Impress yourself by doing things you enjoy and going to places that make you happy. This produces impression and excitement. It’s mentally stimulating, and it gets you into the habit of Impressing Yourself so that you will know when others are meeting and exceeding your expectations!
  2. A whole lot of time is spent impressing other folks. You impress your boss when you show up for work and do an exceptional job, you impress your kids by showing up for them daily. It’s time to Impress Yourself!

For the month of November, I am challenging you to use journaling as a tool to change your communication message to yourself! There are 30 days in November. I am giving you 1 word each day to use as a prompt. You will reflect on how the word shows up in your life on that day and compose a journal entry. Your entry can be written or a short video that you keep on your phone. The words that I provide to you should evoke feelings of happiness, bravery, calmness, rejuvenation and friendliness.create-her-stock-office-beauty4

I would love to know how this challenge goes for you. You can find me on both IG and Facebook at Origins of Peace to get the word for the day.

You can leave a comment one either platform to get the dialogue started.

Oh yea, if you’re not on my email list, you should be. Our next gratitude offering winner will be announced on Monday, November 4th. You must be on the list to get included in the drawing! Visit www.melissaarivers.com to sign up. You can see the prize for Monday’s drawing on my IG page.

Let’s connect!

Melissa

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Remember When

Can you remember the last time that you were excited by the ordinary? I’m talking about those simple pleasures that we often taken for granted like nature, peace, love and even silence. Oftentimes we find ourselves caught up in acquiring more, achieving more and constantly looking for the next promotion, elevation or fancy purchase that we believe will help us to find happiness.

This past weekend, I had the pleasure of watching my grandbaby experience excitement from being able to play with a lid. As I watched her face glow with amusement, I could only think about how easy it is to forget about the simple things that once provided us with joy.

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“I have three things to teach: simplicity, patience, compassion. These three are your greatest treasures.” `Lao Tzu

Today I am sharing 3 tips about simplicity, patience and compassion that may help you live a happier life.

  1. Living a life of simplicity will help you focus on what is important. Let me first start by saying that simplicity looks different for everyone and only you can decide what simplicity looks like for you. Personally I enjoy things with low or no maintenance, little fuss and very little worry. I normally spend more time, money and energy researching a product or service before making a purchase to alleviate or reduce the amount of stress that comes with a lot of wear and tear. Because I am a person who experiences anxiety when things are out of order, I attempt to maintain as much order as possible by keeping it simple.
  2. Be patient with yourself and others. Patience is important because it helps you build empathy for others and accept people for who they are. That last statement is so true but please understand that having patience with yourself is priority number one because it helps you become more tolerant of the different stages of life that you will experience. There will come a time when you feel inadequate. Instead of getting discouraged and beating yourself up remember to exercise patience!
  3. Extend compassion as often as possible. Have you ever found yourself saying, “it’s always something,” or “why can’t I ever catch a break?” The people around you are saying the same statements to themselves. Be kind and extend compassion to the next person because everyone is experiencing life and sometimes life can be tough.

Fill your life with simplicity, patience and compassion to not only live happier but also to live healthier. Incorporating these tips can reduce your stress level and boost your immune system.

In my last post I challenged you to make a list of the people, places, things and experiences that add peace to your life. If you’re not familiar, catch up by reading

Grace & Mercy Have My Back

Now that you have your list, use the following scale to rank the level of peace each item adds:

  • 1-not much peace
  • 2- moderate amount of peace
  • 3-extreme peace

To elevate your Peace Factor spend more time focusing on the items ranked with a 3, determine if items ranked with a 2 can be elevated to a three and consider what changes should be made to remove or redefine items ranked with a 1.

This exercise can be challenging. If at anytime you feel yourself needing support simply email me at: info@designedbymelissarivers.com

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Your Heart Is Bigger Than You Think

I used to think that I only had a limited amount of space in my heart to love and appreciate certain situations, including people. I was convinced that my capacity meter for “stuff” was on the fairly low side. Over the years I’ve been met with unexpected events that challenged my perceived personal truths but also ignited my will to overcome and win. I’ve learned that people are designed to be durable and flexible if we choose to operate at full capacity. Today, I am sharing 3 points of action with you, that will help you create more space in your heart to accept, embrace and handle whatever you find yourself dealing with.

  1. Understand why life has presented you with this opportunity

One of my favorite scriptures in the Bible is; Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you an expected end.”  From this scripture, I am reassured that unexpected events can actually be a blessing in disguise. When the event is truly embraced, our thoughts aren’t directly centered on our personal needs alone and we are challenged to think higher and to make peace with the situation

2.  Focus only on what you have control over

Focus and take action on what you can control and have faith that the things you can’t control will also get taken care of. I’ve learned that good things are often orchestrated on my behalf simply because I did my part and showed up when it was my time to perform. You can find opportunities to be a blessing to others when they least expect it. Believe that the people you are connected to can’t fully do their work/assignment until you complete yours, and you can’t complete your work until others complete theirs. Things that we don’t have control over aren’t ours to control, they are simply an associated assignment. It’s not yours to handle but it is connected to you

3. Remain present and at peace

Do what you can today in order to accept what you’re facing. Taking small, daily steps toward acceptance will open your heart to new capacities of love and will help you navigate through unexpected change.

Challenge: Think about the most intensive challenge that you are currently facing and decide that you are going to rise to the occasion. What can you do today to embrace the change and release negative thoughts surrounding it. How will you show up? Who will you become after it’s over?

Note: To the Origins of Peace community, “thank you all so much for following the blog and for connecting with me in so many different ways. Effective immediately, blog posts will release once a month on or around the 10th of each month, and the Heal, Recover, Grow Newsletter will release quarterly. The next issue is scheduled to release on July 1st.”

You can always connect with me on all social media as Origins of Peace or by emailing me at: info@designedbymelissarivers.com

Peace In Action,

Melissa

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A Place To Breathe

Good Morning PeaceMakers. I pray that today holds all the peace, love and acceptance that your heart can hold.

If this is your first time on my site, My name is Melissa Rivers and I am a Creative Peace Designer. That means I use my gifts of creative writing & teaching to help others manage conflict and create mental space for more peaceful opportunities in their lives. My motto for today is: “peace starts with a made up mind.”

So let’s get to it:

My intent for this post – I’m writing this morning at 4:30 am because writing/ journaling settles my mind and helps me to organize my thoughts. I guess you could say that I am at peace when I create a short narrative, or inspirational message. Writing is one of my Origins of Peace and my place to breathe. It’s important for each of us to find what helps us breathe deeper and a little easier. The sweet aroma of creativity helps us not to take ourselves so seriously and as adults that can be hard to do.

What’s important for you to know: You gotta breathe. Close your eyes and visualize those activities that you participated in as a kid. Did you dance, sing or take piano lessons. Maybe it was art class or violin practice. Whatever it was, did it provide a few minutes of relief and escape for you? Along with writing, I absolutely loved ballet & gymnastics class. I can remember practicing my back-flip and no-hand cartwheels for hours on end. I’ve never really been great at ballet, but I can remember putting on my pink ballet slippers for the first time along with my white tights and black leotard. I was free to be me.

What matters: You were created to be serious and carefree at the same time. Life will impose it constraints and restrictions upon you but you cannot let that stop your creativity. Your foundational purpose is found in the weeds of your place to breathe and your responsibilities. Intentionally show up for yourself each day in a creative way. If not, you’ll get lost and be afraid of who you truly are. You have too much goodness, purity and creativity to be anyone other than yourself.  Show up for you & breathe.

I offer a session called Peace Mapping where I help you identify areas of conflict in your life and design a strategy that helps you to make different choices and create mental space for a more peaceful lifestyle. I would love to help you find your place to breathe.

To book a session, simply click here to get started.