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Confidence is

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Being sure of yourself * Acknowledging your strengths & opportunities * Trusting qualified partners to help you make it work * Seeking opportunities to glean wisdom * Being open to continuous improvement

November has been an extremely busy and rewarding month for me. With renewed intention and focus, I am serious about seeing the fruits of my labor manifest.

It’s interesting because I was certainly struggling a few months ago. I couldn’t find the time, energy, focus or resources to strategically grow my business.

Things have definitely change.

I had a meeting with my team (me) and came to the realization that things would never manifest if I did not take the time and make the effort to accomplish my dreams.

What happened?

I realized that I needed a written, executable plan of action.

Why?

That’s simple. There is clarity in the written word and when you have clarity, you can move in confidence.

So, my top tip for turning up your confidence in your personal and professional life is to always have a written plan. PERIOD. Your plan serves as your blueprint to success.

Peace by Design

On Black Friday, I am releasing my newest course, Peace By Design. This course will help you get clear about what you want in all areas of your life. I am equipping you with the knowledge and understanding of what it means to set executable goals and to determine who you will need to become in order to achieve those goals. Along with the course, you will receive my signature Herbal Tea Collection which includes Peaceful, Focus & Rejuvenation to help you design your way to peace and clarity.

There will only be 10 bundles available for purchase with all three Herbal Tea Blends. You can make sure you receive your bundle by pre-ordering yours today for $97.00.

As an added bonus I am including a 30 minute one-on-one Consultation with me to help you develop your plan. https://www.paypal.me/originsofpeace

I’m excited about it and looking forward to sharing it with you!

Peace✌🏾

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Connectedness

One of my top 5 Strengths from Strengths Finder is Connectedness. This means I am certain that things happen for a reason.

It all started in April when @Shermikathelight posted on Instagram about an event that she would be speaking at in October. From that point forward I knew I had to be in attendance. Shermika and I were classmates in Grad. School. We both had aspirations of starting our own businesses after graduation. I watched on social media as Shermika started her company, going door to door marketing her business. I also had a social media front row seat when things took off for her. I watched in amazement as she nurtured her business into a powerful brand. I knew that in order to successfully and intentionally grow my business on my terms, I needed to gain some knowledge and insight from her. I did just that!

Just over a week ago, I jumped on a flight to Atlanta and I attended #werkprayslay. It was absolutely everything that I’ve never imagined. I mean never, ever. This Women’s Empowerment Conference was one for the books. The colors, the lighting, the details, the information, the vendors, the volunteers, the attendees, the speakers, the hostess, the D.J. and the fabulous visionary @Koereyelle made this a life changing event for me. Before I attended, I had no idea that this beautiful community of women business owners existed.

I have a solid plan for my business now. No more taking bits and pieces of information and trying to figure out how it all ties together. Some of the strategies discussed were, how to land Corporate and Government Contracts, how to Slay Procrastination, how to Change Your Mindset and Secure the Bag, how to Be Your Own Publicist, how to use Video to Slay Your Personal Brand, and so much more! I’m telling you, this ain’t even half of it.

As I said in my previous post, I had a chance to thank @ChefAhki for positively impacting my life after a cancer diagnosis. You can find that post by clicking here.

I can safely bet that I was one of the older women at the conference, but I didn’t feel left out. @Koereyelle and her team did a phenomenal job of making it a safe space to learn and be vulnerable. I even swagged and surfed for the first time ever! (that wasn’t a thing when I attended an HBCU)

Why am I telling you all of this??? Because it matters who you are connected to. My connection with @Shermikiathelight through social media exposed me to a whole new world of confident, brilliant and paid Sistas who are out here doing their thang! It matters who you follow and who you’re connected to.

If you are a female business owner, I highly recommend the @WerkPraySlay Conference. I’m sure planning has already begun for 2020. You definitely don’t want to miss it. I know that I won’t miss it!

One of the top traits of a person with Connectedness as a Strength is having confidence in their gifts, but knowing they do not have all the answers. As a reward for my humility, God made room for me in a place that I didn’t even know existed, and it is a place of overflowing resources!🤲🏾

I won a free Website Copy Audit by Word Stylitz to amplify the impact that I have on my ideal client. April Beverley of @baabwriting will definitely get me all the way together.🙌🏾This brilliant lady is out here commanding coins with the power of her words.

If you are a female business owner looking to connect with a like-minded Sista on the move, email me. I would love to join forces and hold one another accountable to do the #werk!

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Why Journaling Works & How to Do It Better

Do you Journal?  If not, what’s holding you back and if you do, what keeps you going?

A lot of people journal to release emotion and organize their feelings. To be honest, we’re all out here experiencing about 27 emotions daily. That is quite a ride and it’s tough to manage it all. So, what we’re doing is taking the emotion adding to it our daily responsibilities plus the needs and expectations from others and then attempting to get through the day without a method to release. This is the perfect formula for a mental breakdown.

I get it, we want to appear like we have our stuff together with little resistance, add to that this whole self-care trend of “don’t kill my vibe, “don’t interrupt my peace” and “don’t bother me with that”, this leaves us feeling obligated to hold in our emotions.

I’ve found journaling to be a helpful outlet. During those times when I am overflowing with emotions, both positive and negative, journaling helps me to reflect on events, organize my thoughts, release some pinned up energy and even generate solutions. It’s one of the many tools that can be used to re-direct your energy.

There’s another benefit of journaling that very few people notice. Journaling helps you to identify trends. If you journal often and notice a trend of negative or low-energy words and phrases, it’s safe to say you are probably suffering with Imposter Syndrome, self-sabotage and maybe even low self-esteem. If this is you, it’s time for a change in perspective.

I deal with those feelings too. I doubt my abilities, second guess my capabilities and I will overthink a scenario to the very extreme. It’s quite exhausting but I’ve figured out how to manage those feelings.

If you’ve been a member of the Origins of Peace community for any amount of time, you know that our #1 goal is to empower you to get out here and Impress Yourself. There are two reasons why this is important:cropped-origins-of-peace-1-1.png

  1. If you don’t impress yourself, no one else will ever stand a chance of impressing you. This is important for business deals, relationships, money goals, all of that. You must set a standard and stick to it. Example, if you want to be in a loving relationship, you must first love yourself. Impress yourself by doing things you enjoy and going to places that make you happy. This produces impression and excitement. It’s mentally stimulating, and it gets you into the habit of Impressing Yourself so that you will know when others are meeting and exceeding your expectations!
  2. A whole lot of time is spent impressing other folks. You impress your boss when you show up for work and do an exceptional job, you impress your kids by showing up for them daily. It’s time to Impress Yourself!

For the month of November, I am challenging you to use journaling as a tool to change your communication message to yourself! There are 30 days in November. I am giving you 1 word each day to use as a prompt. You will reflect on how the word shows up in your life on that day and compose a journal entry. Your entry can be written or a short video that you keep on your phone. The words that I provide to you should evoke feelings of happiness, bravery, calmness, rejuvenation and friendliness.create-her-stock-office-beauty4

I would love to know how this challenge goes for you. You can find me on both IG and Facebook at Origins of Peace to get the word for the day.

You can leave a comment one either platform to get the dialogue started.

Oh yea, if you’re not on my email list, you should be. Our next gratitude offering winner will be announced on Monday, November 4th. You must be on the list to get included in the drawing! Visit www.melissaarivers.com to sign up. You can see the prize for Monday’s drawing on my IG page.

Let’s connect!

Melissa

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Remember When

Can you remember the last time that you were excited by the ordinary? I’m talking about those simple pleasures that we often taken for granted like nature, peace, love and even silence. Oftentimes we find ourselves caught up in acquiring more, achieving more and constantly looking for the next promotion, elevation or fancy purchase that we believe will help us to find happiness.

This past weekend, I had the pleasure of watching my grandbaby experience excitement from being able to play with a lid. As I watched her face glow with amusement, I could only think about how easy it is to forget about the simple things that once provided us with joy.

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“I have three things to teach: simplicity, patience, compassion. These three are your greatest treasures.” `Lao Tzu

Today I am sharing 3 tips about simplicity, patience and compassion that may help you live a happier life.

  1. Living a life of simplicity will help you focus on what is important. Let me first start by saying that simplicity looks different for everyone and only you can decide what simplicity looks like for you. Personally I enjoy things with low or no maintenance, little fuss and very little worry. I normally spend more time, money and energy researching a product or service before making a purchase to alleviate or reduce the amount of stress that comes with a lot of wear and tear. Because I am a person who experiences anxiety when things are out of order, I attempt to maintain as much order as possible by keeping it simple.
  2. Be patient with yourself and others. Patience is important because it helps you build empathy for others and accept people for who they are. That last statement is so true but please understand that having patience with yourself is priority number one because it helps you become more tolerant of the different stages of life that you will experience. There will come a time when you feel inadequate. Instead of getting discouraged and beating yourself up remember to exercise patience!
  3. Extend compassion as often as possible. Have you ever found yourself saying, “it’s always something,” or “why can’t I ever catch a break?” The people around you are saying the same statements to themselves. Be kind and extend compassion to the next person because everyone is experiencing life and sometimes life can be tough.

Fill your life with simplicity, patience and compassion to not only live happier but also to live healthier. Incorporating these tips can reduce your stress level and boost your immune system.

In my last post I challenged you to make a list of the people, places, things and experiences that add peace to your life. If you’re not familiar, catch up by reading

Grace & Mercy Have My Back

Now that you have your list, use the following scale to rank the level of peace each item adds:

  • 1-not much peace
  • 2- moderate amount of peace
  • 3-extreme peace

To elevate your Peace Factor spend more time focusing on the items ranked with a 3, determine if items ranked with a 2 can be elevated to a three and consider what changes should be made to remove or redefine items ranked with a 1.

This exercise can be challenging. If at anytime you feel yourself needing support simply email me at: info@designedbymelissarivers.com

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Affirm To Nurture Your Relationships

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Affirmation #2I am creating true relationships and lasting connections by being grateful for each encounter, providing support without compromising my boundaries and holding space for us to evolve.”

I wrote this affirmation while thinking about the complexities of relationships and how self-love is a direct reflection of how we love others.

I am a firm believer in self-preservation and protecting my peace by properly managing my circle of influence but I understand fully that my relationships and how I show up in them are a direct reflection of how I show love to myself.

If I’m constantly telling myself that I am inadequate or lacking in certain areas, I will feel that I have the authorization to speak those same inequities into the lives of others.

This is completely false.

No one has the right to infuse their personal self-doubt on anyone else.

Affirm to Nurture Your Relationships.

  1. Decide today that you will speak better to yourself, think more highly about who you are and begin to value your own opinion.  By doing so, you create a nurturing foundation that will be the basis for all of your relationships
  2. Set boundaries that create positive encounters. Make a decision to stop interjection your unsolicited opinions in other people’s lives. Nine times out of ten, nobody asked you…so stop. Leave something to the imagination.
  3. Express gratitude when someone shares their time, energy, knowledge and love with you

Remember: Your thoughts, words and actions should be for your greatest good and to be of service to others. Hold thoughts and actions toward others in the same regard.

Create your peace,

~Melissa

 

 

 

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Your Heart Is Bigger Than You Think

I used to think that I only had a limited amount of space in my heart to love and appreciate certain situations, including people. I was convinced that my capacity meter for “stuff” was on the fairly low side. Over the years I’ve been met with unexpected events that challenged my perceived personal truths but also ignited my will to overcome and win. I’ve learned that people are designed to be durable and flexible if we choose to operate at full capacity. Today, I am sharing 3 points of action with you, that will help you create more space in your heart to accept, embrace and handle whatever you find yourself dealing with.

  1. Understand why life has presented you with this opportunity

One of my favorite scriptures in the Bible is; Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you an expected end.”  From this scripture, I am reassured that unexpected events can actually be a blessing in disguise. When the event is truly embraced, our thoughts aren’t directly centered on our personal needs alone and we are challenged to think higher and to make peace with the situation

2.  Focus only on what you have control over

Focus and take action on what you can control and have faith that the things you can’t control will also get taken care of. I’ve learned that good things are often orchestrated on my behalf simply because I did my part and showed up when it was my time to perform. You can find opportunities to be a blessing to others when they least expect it. Believe that the people you are connected to can’t fully do their work/assignment until you complete yours, and you can’t complete your work until others complete theirs. Things that we don’t have control over aren’t ours to control, they are simply an associated assignment. It’s not yours to handle but it is connected to you

3. Remain present and at peace

Do what you can today in order to accept what you’re facing. Taking small, daily steps toward acceptance will open your heart to new capacities of love and will help you navigate through unexpected change.

Challenge: Think about the most intensive challenge that you are currently facing and decide that you are going to rise to the occasion. What can you do today to embrace the change and release negative thoughts surrounding it. How will you show up? Who will you become after it’s over?

Note: To the Origins of Peace community, “thank you all so much for following the blog and for connecting with me in so many different ways. Effective immediately, blog posts will release once a month on or around the 10th of each month, and the Heal, Recover, Grow Newsletter will release quarterly. The next issue is scheduled to release on July 1st.”

You can always connect with me on all social media as Origins of Peace or by emailing me at: info@designedbymelissarivers.com

Peace In Action,

Melissa

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Peace Within

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Hi Peace Makers, or should I say Peace Within Makers! I am excited to bring you this week’s blog post. We are discussing boosting our self-esteem through self-care and conflict resolution through positive self talk. I pray that you will find hope and encouragement through today’s reading and as always, I am praying that God gifts you with all the happiness that your heart can hold.

If this is your first time on my site, My name is Melissa Rivers and I am a Creative Peace Designer. That means I use my gifts of creative writing and mentoring to help others manage conflict, realize their hidden potential and create mental space for more peaceful engagements in their lives. My motto for this week is “my peace is constantly unfolding.”

If you haven’t read my last post entitled, A Place To Breathe, click here to get encouraged about pursuing those peculiar hobbies that bring you joy!

So let’s get into it!

What’s My Intention for this post – My intention is to provide tips for boosting your self-esteem through self-care and conflict resolution through positive self talk. Sometimes we can get so busy in life that we forget to slow down and breathe. It’s so easy for anxiety and overwhelm to creep in because we are doing all the things that we normally do, not realizing that we are operating out of stress. Unfortunately by the time most of us realizes that we are stressed out, we are in the midst of a huge meltdown. Through self-care and positive self talk, I regained control over my emotions and turned around, what could have become an unproductive weekend.

What’s Important for you to know -I declared this past Saturday as Melissa’s Self-Care Saturday. I’ve been extremely busying doing all the things that a responsible, grown woman does. If you fall into that category, you know doing all the things can lead to all the stress. As stress occupied my shoulders and mind, I wanted to completely check out and do nothing. Unfortunately with deadlines looming, I had to get creative in my quest to find peace. I grabbed 4 things; my essential oil diffuser, my Doterra Peppermint Essential Oil, my Bentonite Clay and my facial steamer. I created a Peppermint infused spa retreat in my bathroom. I filled my diffuser with water and added a few drops of Peppermint Essential Oil. After turning it on, I plugged in my facial steamer. I allowed the two steams to co-mingle and fill the room with a sense of calmness. After a few minutes of deep breathing and repeating positive self-affirmations, I felt the tension rushing away from my shoulders.

What Matters – Incorporating self-care into your daily routine is important for overall good health. You matter, your physical health matters and your mental health is just as important, if not more. Maybe you’re like me and have an extremely hectic schedule, if that’s the case, grab the items that I listed above and incorporate them into your weekly routine. If you need Doterra Essential Oils, I can help.  Click here and complete the form. I will get in touch with you to place an order. I’ve included links below, to purchase the other items. If you are unfamiliar with the detoxifying  benefits of Bentonite Clay, click here to read an article featured in Mother Nature Living Magazine to learn more. The facial steamer is an important element for dramatic effect. I only use the steamer to fill my room with steam. I know a lot of experts say that steam is great for your face but I tend to break out if I overuse it. One last thing, positive self-talk. You have to speak kindly to yourself in order to maintain peace and calmness. I don’t care how mad you may get or how big of a mistake you may make. Grant yourself some grace and be kind. Remember, your heart is listening and unpleasant words have a way of making a huge imprint. Refer back to my post entitled This Is What Happened, to get a list of affirmations that you can begin incorporating into your routine.

Creating Peace Maps to help individuals discover their fundamental necessities of peace, is what I do. If you would like to work with me, click the button below to schedule a 30 Minute Discovery Call.  Schedule Appointment

Peace,

Melissa

Bentonite Clay, Doterra Essential Oil, Facial Steamer, Essential Oil Diffusser

 

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Do You!

Hi PeaceMakers! I am so excited to have you on my site today! Thanks for your continued support and encouragement.

What’s My Intent for this post: My intention is to give you a quick word of encouragement. With that said, if this is your first time checking me out, My name is Melissa Rivers and I am a Peace Coach. Most of the time, I coach entrepreneurs in their quest to plan, build and manage a business that is authentic to their unique gifts and talents. In addition to that I coach women in designing self-care routines that promote mental clarity, self-preservation and service to self.

What’s Important for you to know: Both my Leadership Academy & Personal Coaching programs are heart centered.  Together, you & I sit down and create a Peace Map that will help you peacefully move through your leadership development program or your current crisis situation. I’ve assisted clients during career, finance, relationship and health transitions. What are my qualifications? I have a full-fledged Master’s degree in Peace & Conflict Studies, I am a  Certified Change Manager and a Certified Lean Six Sigma Professional. That means, I have the necessary skill-set to help you identify the underlying issues, create a plan of change and give you the steps to make that change  part of your normal routine.

What Matters: I stopped by today with a word of encouragement. “Don’t be afraid to build your business your way”. If you don’t hear anything else that I say to you, hear this. It is perfectly okay to do you and to pursue a business that makes you feel good, provides a useful service to others and that caters to your unique gifts & talents. I was recently told that you can’t create a profitable business from doing the things that you like to do and if it makes you feel good, it’s a hobby.

A hobby?    Wrong, wrong & wrong! With the right mentor and tools, you can turn your passion into a successful business that feeds your spirit and your pockets.

I invite you to sign up for my N.I.C.E Mentoring program today. Click here to get started!

Don’t give others the power to deter you from following your heart and pursuing a cause that you truly believe in. Peace is my cause and I am all in. Too many women in our community deal with setbacks from infidelity issues, unexpected health diagnosis and sudden job loss, just to name a few.

There is a map to peace during the crisis. Let me help you figure it out.Screenshot_20190128-190406

If you’re local to the Charlotte, NC Metro area. Join me on March 2nd for “No More Struggle Prayers.” This is an interactive creative writing course where I teach you how to compose prayers that are filled with language to inspire, uplift and encourage! Click here to register.

 

 

 

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The Best Program I Ever Developed Turned Out To Be An Absolute Bust ☹

For months I spent countless hours praying, researching, developing and consulting to include the right content that would make my program memorable and successful.

In spite of my efforts, there were things that I missed. I failed to include some important factors, which turned out to be a major misstep for me.

The program that I am referring to is my wedding and subsequently, my marriage.

September 18, 2010 was supposed to be the beginning of a life full of wedded bliss for me. In spite of the time spent planning and preparing, things didn’t quite turn out the way that I envisioned.  Yes the ceremony took place and it was beautiful but the marriage didn’t last.

In hindsight, more time should have been spent understanding what I needed in a spouse and what would be required of me in order to have a successful marriage. Although I believe wholeheartedly in redemption, I can honestly say I consider this to be one of my biggest missed opportunities.

Can you relate? Have you ever exhausted all of your efforts and energy working on a ‘thing’ that didn’t turn out right? Are you tired of starting a project but never seeing it through to completion? Like years in the past, did you set goals for 2019 but have no idea how you’re going to accomplish them?

I believe that all things start from within and now is the perfect time to start fresh. In order to properly set my intentions toward success in 2019, I am dedicating three days to fasting, prayer & meditation, visualization and affirmations.

I invite you to join me.

Beginning January 14th, we will spend the first 20 minutes of each day with scriptures, affirmations and guided words for visualization that promote success, empowerment and completion.

I will post the affirmation cards on Sunday, January 13th at midnight. If you’re in, comment on the post or shoot me an email at melissarivers75@gmail.com.

You owe it to yourself to finish what you’ve started.

Let’s do this!

Much Love,

Melissa

 

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My Soul Says Yes

Being emotionally well means that you have the ability to be aware of and accept your feelings, rather than deny them. You’re attentive to your thoughts, feelings and behaviors, both positive and negative.

I work with many women who carry an immense amount of guilt for various reasons. They feel guilty for settling in life, love and career. They feel guilty for occasionally wanting to choose themselves and say no to the demands of others. They feel guilty for wanting to be number one but always settling for a lower position.

This guilt carries a lot of weight and many adverse affects. Before you know it, feelings of stress and overwhelm consume you and you’ve lost your true self. You’re no longer the bold and confident woman that you once were.

When is enough…enough? When is it okay to put yourself first? Do you even know how to ask for better treatment and what does better treatment look like for you?

My goal as a Peace Coach is to help re-write your personal narrative. If you’re currently living a life that is not authentic to who you truly are, allow me to help you find your “Origins of Peace.”

Your “Origins of Peace” are the fundamental necessities that keep you grounded and at ease. The circumstances of life tend to make us forget what makes us happy, peaceful and full of joy. I can help you reconnect the dots.

If you are experiencing a disconnect in your life, start by reciting the Personal Plea below to make room for peace in your life.

Personal Plea

It’s me oh Lord. Standing in the need of being free from myself. Free from fear, self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy. These feelings have prevailed for far too long.

No longer do I want to worry about trivial matters that highjack my attention and hold my emotions hostage.

Today I will focus on calming the noise, accepting my vulnerabilities and being free to explore new perspectives.

No more mental battles. No more thoughts of defeat.

No more.

My Soul says yes to change. Restore my compassion towards myself. Renew my mind from crippling information. Touch me so that I am made whole.

I am strong and mighty in the earth. I have purpose and a mission to complete.

Thank you God for leading the way.

Much Love,

Melissa

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