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The Peace in Giving Back

When the Call to Action went out to support a sister in the midst of her journey with breast cancer, I felt compelled to respond. It’s not everyday that the opportunity arises to offer support on a personal basis.

Being a breast cancer survivor who’s currently in her 5th year of survival, I understand that everyday choices are a huge part of the recovery process. I decided to gift this beautiful sister with the Planter pictured above in hopes that it would help to boost her mood during these trying times and also add a little peace to her space.

I remember the fear and uncertainty that I felt during my journey, but I also remember the love and acts of kindness that were shown to me during that time. I remember the visits, phone calls and texts. I remember the Banana Pudding Cake from my Sister in Law Lanita and I remember the beautiful Orchid from my Nephew Nicholas.

My hope is that my simple act of kindness will also be remembered as a simple act of love.💖

To this Sister I pray for Peace and Total Healing. ✨

 

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Burnout AF

In a time where chasing the next greatest trend, fad, influencer or improve thyself technique is the thing to do, people are fiercely striving for perfection in their professional and personal lives. This non-stop sprint for greatness has left a majority of folks stressed out, tired and overwhelmed. As a result, the World Health Organization (WHO) has declared “Burnout” as a diagnosable condition. Their definition of burnout focuses solely on the professional perspective but I believe if we fail to equally consider personal burnout in the definition, we are only examining half of the issue.

 

My personal definition of burnout is: having feelings of exhaustion and extreme tiredness with increased mental isolation from one’s personal and professional  responsibilities which result in reduced productivity.

Many people experience burnout in their personal and professional lives without realizing it. There’s the pressure to attain a certain lifestyle or to achieve a certain social status, but there’s also the pressure to be the one who people can depend on and the one who has it all together.

In the workplace, employees are working longer hours, performing jobs they despise and working through their lunch break to chase the so-called American Dream. Those actions contribute to exhaustion and regret.

Do what you love

If you think you may be suffering from Professional burnout, try incorporating the following actions and seek professional help if necessary.

  1. Establish healthy connections/relationships at work
  2. Unplug during your lunch break; no phone, no meetings, just eat
  3. Schedule quarterly vacation days throughout the year to do something meaningless and fun. Don’t wait until Summer or Christmas break to take time off

Love you

Personal burnout can be a little more difficult to recognize, mainly because no one wants to freely admit when your own life becomes too much to handle. To give you a better understanding of personal burnout, I’m going to extend to you a looking glass into my life.

In 2015, I went through divorce, cancer and job loss all within a 6 month period. I was exhausted, my self-esteem was low, my concentration was non-existent and I was persistently overwhelmed. I did not have a steady income again until November 2016. I was on the verge of losing my home and my sanity. While dealing with all these things, I was raising a teenager, being a supportive daughter, sister, auntie and friend while being completely depleted inside. Personal burnout.

Personal burnout comes from continuously mismanaging your life by neglecting your personal needs and putting the needs of others before your own, neglecting opportunities for self-care and personal well-being and failing to see the beauty in the present moment.

The greatest gift that I’ve learned on my road to self restoration is:

I AM MY PRIORITY.

I’m giving you a few of my top reminders to help you focus on self-care, self-restoration and self-preservation.

  1. Schedule self-care appointments frequently
  2. Unplug from social media often
  3. Use the letters N.O. freely
  4. Don’t lose yourself, trying to save someone else
  5. Live and let live
  6. Always remember: “We each have a life to live and personal burdens to bear. You are here as a support, not a savior.”

For more tips on managing burnout and protecting your peace, subscribe to my blog and newsletter by visiting http://www.designedbymelissarivers.com.

Peace.

 

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Peace Within

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Hi Peace Makers, or should I say Peace Within Makers! I am excited to bring you this week’s blog post. We are discussing boosting our self-esteem through self-care and conflict resolution through positive self talk. I pray that you will find hope and encouragement through today’s reading and as always, I am praying that God gifts you with all the happiness that your heart can hold.

If this is your first time on my site, My name is Melissa Rivers and I am a Creative Peace Designer. That means I use my gifts of creative writing and mentoring to help others manage conflict, realize their hidden potential and create mental space for more peaceful engagements in their lives. My motto for this week is “my peace is constantly unfolding.”

If you haven’t read my last post entitled, A Place To Breathe, click here to get encouraged about pursuing those peculiar hobbies that bring you joy!

So let’s get into it!

What’s My Intention for this post – My intention is to provide tips for boosting your self-esteem through self-care and conflict resolution through positive self talk. Sometimes we can get so busy in life that we forget to slow down and breathe. It’s so easy for anxiety and overwhelm to creep in because we are doing all the things that we normally do, not realizing that we are operating out of stress. Unfortunately by the time most of us realizes that we are stressed out, we are in the midst of a huge meltdown. Through self-care and positive self talk, I regained control over my emotions and turned around, what could have become an unproductive weekend.

What’s Important for you to know -I declared this past Saturday as Melissa’s Self-Care Saturday. I’ve been extremely busying doing all the things that a responsible, grown woman does. If you fall into that category, you know doing all the things can lead to all the stress. As stress occupied my shoulders and mind, I wanted to completely check out and do nothing. Unfortunately with deadlines looming, I had to get creative in my quest to find peace. I grabbed 4 things; my essential oil diffuser, my Doterra Peppermint Essential Oil, my Bentonite Clay and my facial steamer. I created a Peppermint infused spa retreat in my bathroom. I filled my diffuser with water and added a few drops of Peppermint Essential Oil. After turning it on, I plugged in my facial steamer. I allowed the two steams to co-mingle and fill the room with a sense of calmness. After a few minutes of deep breathing and repeating positive self-affirmations, I felt the tension rushing away from my shoulders.

What Matters – Incorporating self-care into your daily routine is important for overall good health. You matter, your physical health matters and your mental health is just as important, if not more. Maybe you’re like me and have an extremely hectic schedule, if that’s the case, grab the items that I listed above and incorporate them into your weekly routine. If you need Doterra Essential Oils, I can help.  Click here and complete the form. I will get in touch with you to place an order. I’ve included links below, to purchase the other items. If you are unfamiliar with the detoxifying  benefits of Bentonite Clay, click here to read an article featured in Mother Nature Living Magazine to learn more. The facial steamer is an important element for dramatic effect. I only use the steamer to fill my room with steam. I know a lot of experts say that steam is great for your face but I tend to break out if I overuse it. One last thing, positive self-talk. You have to speak kindly to yourself in order to maintain peace and calmness. I don’t care how mad you may get or how big of a mistake you may make. Grant yourself some grace and be kind. Remember, your heart is listening and unpleasant words have a way of making a huge imprint. Refer back to my post entitled This Is What Happened, to get a list of affirmations that you can begin incorporating into your routine.

Creating Peace Maps to help individuals discover their fundamental necessities of peace, is what I do. If you would like to work with me, click the button below to schedule a 30 Minute Discovery Call.  Schedule Appointment

Peace,

Melissa

Bentonite Clay, Doterra Essential Oil, Facial Steamer, Essential Oil Diffusser

 

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The Best Program I Ever Developed Turned Out To Be An Absolute Bust ☹

For months I spent countless hours praying, researching, developing and consulting to include the right content that would make my program memorable and successful.

In spite of my efforts, there were things that I missed. I failed to include some important factors, which turned out to be a major misstep for me.

The program that I am referring to is my wedding and subsequently, my marriage.

September 18, 2010 was supposed to be the beginning of a life full of wedded bliss for me. In spite of the time spent planning and preparing, things didn’t quite turn out the way that I envisioned.  Yes the ceremony took place and it was beautiful but the marriage didn’t last.

In hindsight, more time should have been spent understanding what I needed in a spouse and what would be required of me in order to have a successful marriage. Although I believe wholeheartedly in redemption, I can honestly say I consider this to be one of my biggest missed opportunities.

Can you relate? Have you ever exhausted all of your efforts and energy working on a ‘thing’ that didn’t turn out right? Are you tired of starting a project but never seeing it through to completion? Like years in the past, did you set goals for 2019 but have no idea how you’re going to accomplish them?

I believe that all things start from within and now is the perfect time to start fresh. In order to properly set my intentions toward success in 2019, I am dedicating three days to fasting, prayer & meditation, visualization and affirmations.

I invite you to join me.

Beginning January 14th, we will spend the first 20 minutes of each day with scriptures, affirmations and guided words for visualization that promote success, empowerment and completion.

I will post the affirmation cards on Sunday, January 13th at midnight. If you’re in, comment on the post or shoot me an email at melissarivers75@gmail.com.

You owe it to yourself to finish what you’ve started.

Let’s do this!

Much Love,

Melissa

 

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Outlook

“I have what I have and I am happy. I’ve lost what I’ve lost and I am still happy.”

~rupi kaur

We often hear the phrase, you win some and you lose some. I’ve never felt that saying to be totally accurate because even when we feel that we’ve lost something, we gain so much from the experience.

analyzing & extracting nuggets from Milk and Honey by rupi kaur

I’ve often fantasized about how different, better and more full-filled my life would be if my father were still living. I remember as a kid always saying, “if my dad where here, things would be better.”

Throughout the 41 years that I’ve been on this Earth without him, I’ve spent much of my time healing. I used to visit his grave site daily and I sometimes drive by the location where he took his last breath. When I was younger, it was really hard, total grief and despair but as I got older I felt as if I was being guided on how to handle my grief and how to help others experiencing this same magnitude of pain.

True Story:

Last week I saw a young lady siting in her car consumed with grief. She was visibly shaken and overwhelmed with pain. I had no idea what was wrong but I felt her energy nearly 30 feet away. I was inside of an establishment, she was parked outside at the business next door. It was by happenstance that I turned around and looked out of the window. I felt her vibration. The magnitude of her pain was immense and unsettling.

I later found out that she was grieving the loss of her boyfriend who died in a car crash earlier in the week. She’s been returning to the location where he took his last breath, since it happened. By the time I learned of her story, she had left, I want to believe that I would have made myself available to comfort her had I known what she was dealing with a little sooner.

What I Understand:

I understand her need to revisit the location where her loved one took his last breath. The connection is deep, somehow you feel like you can breathe the same air, see the same sights and maybe align your thoughts with theirs to help you cope.

It’s maddening and satisfying at the same time.

The loss of time, love and experience isn’t easy to deal with.

Where I Find Comfort:

I find comfort in knowing my grief has caused me to vibrate at a level so extrordinary that I can be seated in a room, flipping through a magazine, waiting to be called by my hair stylist and suddenly feel the pull of someone nearly 30 feet away in an adjacent parking lot and understand that her cry was so familiar and shook me to my core that I had no choice but to find out more about her story.

It’s not the loss that makes us happy, it’s the ability to readily get in trenches of saddness and dispair with those who need us the most.

“I have what I have and I’m happy. I’ve lost what I’ve lost and I’m still happy.”

PeaceTalks,

Melissa