On Saturday October 22, 2022, at 7:30am we are excited to welcome our Charlotte Community together for our inaugural A Princess’s Closet 5K Race Edition. Whether you are a seasoned runner, someone that is just getting started or someone that prefers walking; we invite you to register for a brisk morning run.
This race is geared for families to come together and cultivate community, contribute to their health and wellness and fellowship with other families in the Charlotte Metro area. All are welcome on this fun, fast and flat course on October 22, 2022. Register using the link below.
Before I jump into the discussion about people pleasing, I want to explain the concept of Acknowledgement to
strengthen your Spiritual Wellness.
Increase your Acknowledgement of what is around you in order to build trust, knowledge and foresight to manage your personal struggles.
There will be times when you do not understand why “a certain thing” happened in your life, and you will not know if it happened to you or for you.
There will also be times when you cannot seem to shake the residual effects of “that certain thing” BUT
There are special promptings and messages that show up as direction for your journey.
Biblical Scripture is my personal compass because the content found within it has helped me to elevate out of various dark places in my life.
You can utilize whatever word inspires you to take action, you just need discernment to notice the direction that is found within the text.
I’ve used the word direction repeatedly because the word that inspires you needs to have a layout of forward progression.
Take a look at the diagram above.
The Energy Enhancer/ (Scripture) is: Genesis 50:20-21
The direction found within is: “Don’t Be Afraid.”
The knowledge gained is: God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives
The Trust Factor is: I will provide for you and your children
The Personal Struggle Statement is: You intended to harm me
Acknowledgement of all the factors contained in the scripture allow you to freely move in Peace. You are essentially giving a head nod to the fact that the opposition had it out for you, they tried everything in their power to trap you, but the intention for your life is greater than any plan they could think of or imagine SO THEREFORE God’s word over your life cancels out their plan.
PERIOD.
You will find your blessing (Peace) on the other side of your personal struggle.
Face whatever you need to face and deal with whatever needs to be dealt with. By doing so you remove its power over your life.
You were designed to be a creator, an innovator, a mountain mover and an overcomer.
It’s time to live!
Now, a quick word about being a people pleaser or as I sometimes refer to them as “a performer.”
Are you the type of person who feels like you always have to be doing something to gain attention or support from others
Do you often feel overlooked or isolated if you are not helping someone by providing a solution to their problems
Do you neglect your self-care needs by putting the needs of others before your own
If any of these people pleasing/ performer traits sounds familiar to how you move in this world, it’s time to have a long talk with yourself and make different choices.
Neglecting your needs to appease others is a quick way to achieve mental, physical and emotional exhaustion.
When we fail to establish boundaries with others and we willingly perform in order to gain their acceptance, we are merely acting, and just like in the entertainment industry, we are not showing up authentically. You are uniquely and wonderfully made. Acknowledge that and walk in the acceptance that your needs matter too.
I am sharing 3 tips to help you put down the script and stop performing:
Realize that your needs are important
Develop an Action Plan to prioritize what you need
Ask yourself this question each day: “Did I choose me today?”
I’ve shared a lot today so let’s seal it with a prayer.
Today I’m discussing the Task Queen Work Style. If you like to make lists, and I mean detailed lists inclusive of categories and assigned time frames, you embrace the Work Style of a Task Queen!
This Work Style has both pros and cons. Listen in to learn what those are and to find out all about how to effectively manage this work style and how to show up as your best relaxed self in the process.
Of course, I created a bonus care package for my Introverts. Email originsofpeace@gmail.com and enter “Task Queen” in the subject line to claim yours.
Seasons change and people can to. I remember one of my most prominent transformation journeys occured during the Springtime. I was experiencing an extended time of sadness and frustration, stuck in what I thought was an admirable life but I could never shake the feelings of inadequacy, unhappiness and consistent anxiety.
From personal experience, I can tell you that having faith the size of a mustard seed is all you need to pivot and then transform. Tough things happen to some of the best peo
ple in the world and often they cannot find the motivation or strength to overcome those
challenges.
I’m here to tell you that Transformation is possible with the right plan of action!
I want to help you realize the change that you need and to come face to face with the conflicts that are keeping you from showing up as your best self.
Heal…Recover…Grow is a 12 Week Transformation Program that will help you create a new mindset, create a new path forward and motivate you to take action for improvement. I personally invite you to take this guided journey with me.
You can expect a comprehensive program that will equip you with the tools you need to realize real change in your life.
If no one has told you, allow me to be the first, “You have creative freedom over your life and it’s time to write your next Chapter”.
“Black Women live, create and build with the future in mind, because the present has no place for us. In order to stay alive, we have to imagine ourselves in a future where we not only survive but thrive. A place where we are understood. A place where we still exist. This is a tall order in the world but this is the way we make the present work for us, every day, and it’s the reason I’m most proud of us.” -Shayla Lawson
I have read this quote so many times over the past week and each time is more triggering than the time before . Whether you agree with the quote or not, it is nearly unbearable to know, understand and feel the perspective that is voiced here.
I believe this quote is a great place to start in order to take a deeper look into the “State of Black Women”, more specifically how we cope with life’s daily requirements, how we celebrate our wins and how we respond to the heartbreak of those tough lessons that we have no other choice but to learn.
It has long been said, “black women are so strong”. I would argue the point that many of us are strong because we have to be strong, not because we necessarily want to be. In a world where we are constantly working to make the world a safer place for everyone else but ourselves, we nuture, we advocate, we protest and we support our fair share of people and causes. We do all the things necessary to help others survive. Consequently, we are too overwhelmed and burdened to do the same things for ourselves.
Let’s talk about it.
What are your thoughts about this quote? Do you agree or disagree with this point of view?
I belive many Black Women find their validation in the work they do to help others and in their efforts to solution the world’s problems. Rarely does the message of simply being enough and contributing as our authentic self come into the conversation. Constantly living, creating and building with the future in mind is a huge endeavor to tackle, but that’s how we, Black Women make it. We are forward thinkers. It’s also why we have such a huge problem sticking to a self-care routine. We’re expected to always be ON….on point, on target, on top things….it’s alot!
My vision for Black Women is a world where we are respected for who we are, appreciated for our contributions but also given equal opportunites to rest, to rejuvenate and to love.
One of the core principles of Originis of Peace is “Self-Preservation”. We empower women with the skills and know-how to set boundaries, manage overwhelm and gain clarity around their goals and objectives. Self-Preservation is defined as the act of keeping oneself from destruction or harm, a natural or instintive tendency to act as to preserve one’s own existence.
In a few weeks I’m kicking off my 12 week course entitled; Heal..Recover..Grow to help you GROW through what you GO through.
We will focus on 3 Essential Concepts:
Heal – Be the heroine of your life, not the victim
Recover – Own your story; stop running from it
Grow – Be open to all experiences, understanding that both happiness and sadness have their respective places
All Sessions are virtual. Additional information will be shared later this week.
Best selling author Valorie Burton unlocks the secret to your personal happiness. She reveals 13 happiness triggers – choices that can boost your joy right now, even in the midst of deadlines, dating, marriage, parenting and squeezing in a workout or girls night out. Throught these happiness triggers, you will learn how to bounce back from stress and adversity faster, enjoy deeper satisfaction in your marriage and friendships, maximize career opportunities and increase your income and fight off illness. We’re kicking things off on March 1st.
In my mid-twenties, struggling financially, I decided to get a part-time job to help make ends meet. I signed on to be a part-time delivery person who delivered telephone books. My instructions were to deliver the phonebook to local residents. If no one was home, the directive was to place the phonebook on the front porch.
My second day on the job, I arrived at a residence, got out of my car with phonebook and identification in hand. As I walked down the driveway to place the phonebook on the front porch, a white gentleman came around the house from the back yard with a shot gun in his hand. As I tried to identify myself and state my purpose for being at his home, he yelled obscenities at me, held up his shotgun and told me to get off of his property.
I retreated to my car, phonebook and identification in hand and I drove away crying.
I will never forget my feelings from that day and I can’t help but think I was greeted in such a way because of the color of my skin. I was a small-framed, 24 year old single-mother to an infant baby girl. I had a phonebook and he had a shotgun.
At Origins of Peace, LLC, my mission is to create an all-inclusive space welcoming all who’ve experienced hardship, conflict and turmoil. My goal is to help you create a new way forward. We are founded on Romans 12:18 NIV – If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
In this season, I am focusing my intentions on promoting the health, safety and well-being of Black Americans. Our struggle is real and it deserves extra attention. My experience occurred over 20 years ago and to still live in a society were we are judged, disrespected and in many cases killed because of the color of our skin is awful and heartbreaking.
I am outraged over the deaths of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, Sandra Bland, Philando Castile, Eric Garner, Oscar Grant, Trayvon Martin, Michael Brown and all the other murders that have occurred because of racism and police brutality. These people had families, careers, hopes and dreams. It’s terrible to have it all taken away simply because of someone else’s opinion of who they think you are.
There are so many changes that need to occur but let’s start with informed, intentional voting. Can we please demand more from our government leaders? We need healing, justice, and a progressive way forward.
There is an initiative called #8cantwait. were you can demand change right now.
Today my mind kept pondering on one thought….”I wonder how America’s response to this pandemic will be documented in history books.”
I mean we are directly in the midst of a pandemic and America basically said enough playing it safe, we have to re-open, we must re-open! Covid-19 cases are continuing to rise and social distancing is becoming non-existent.
No vaccine, no documented way of slowing the spread beside staying put and all 50 of the United States of America are in some variation of the re-opening phase.
Personal thoughts aside, it’s happening. I just wonder how we’re going to look on the other side of this. When the federal government initially predicted 100k deaths everyone was like what, wow, why would they say that but last time that I checked, we were at 96k. Not too far from 100k. I guess WuTang Clan called it in 1994, when they said, “Cash Rules Everything Around Me!”
I say all of this to remind you to journal. You should definitely document this period in time and document your personal thoughts. It’s a great way to release tension and also to reflect on current events.
Some of the greatest solutions are developed after the fact. So grab your pen & notebook and be sure to journal.
I’ve added a journal to my product offering and I would love for you to purchase one. Head over to my site: www.melissaarivers.com/products and grab your Origins of Peace Journal.
If a carrot can become bacon, you can continue to stay at the house and be the teacher, hair dresser, personal trainer, chef, movie attendant and any other role that you’ve recently taken on.
I know the government has given the green light for some states to open a few “select businesses”…but please don’t do it. It ain’t safe, it ain’t safe, it ain’t safe!
Today’s challenge: Don’t be the test subject, continue to be the jack of all trades…at the house! You’re doing great.
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I’m here to tell you that Transformation is possible with the right plan of action!
