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Category: Interpersonal
Why Journaling Works & How to Do It Better
Do you Journal? If not, what’s holding you back and if you do, what keeps you going?
A lot of people journal to release emotion and organize their feelings. To be honest, we’re all out here experiencing about 27 emotions daily. That is quite a ride and it’s tough to manage it all. So, what we’re doing is taking the emotion adding to it our daily responsibilities plus the needs and expectations from others and then attempting to get through the day without a method to release. This is the perfect formula for a mental breakdown.
I get it, we want to appear like we have our stuff together with little resistance, add to that this whole self-care trend of “don’t kill my vibe, “don’t interrupt my peace” and “don’t bother me with that”, this leaves us feeling obligated to hold in our emotions.
I’ve found journaling to be a helpful outlet. During those times when I am overflowing with emotions, both positive and negative, journaling helps me to reflect on events, organize my thoughts, release some pinned up energy and even generate solutions. It’s one of the many tools that can be used to re-direct your energy.
There’s another benefit of journaling that very few people notice. Journaling helps you to identify trends. If you journal often and notice a trend of negative or low-energy words and phrases, it’s safe to say you are probably suffering with Imposter Syndrome, self-sabotage and maybe even low self-esteem. If this is you, it’s time for a change in perspective.
I deal with those feelings too. I doubt my abilities, second guess my capabilities and I will overthink a scenario to the very extreme. It’s quite exhausting but I’ve figured out how to manage those feelings.
If you’ve been a member of the Origins of Peace community for any amount of time, you know that our #1 goal is to empower you to get out here and Impress Yourself. There are two reasons why this is important:
- If you don’t impress yourself, no one else will ever stand a chance of impressing you. This is important for business deals, relationships, money goals, all of that. You must set a standard and stick to it. Example, if you want to be in a loving relationship, you must first love yourself. Impress yourself by doing things you enjoy and going to places that make you happy. This produces impression and excitement. It’s mentally stimulating, and it gets you into the habit of Impressing Yourself so that you will know when others are meeting and exceeding your expectations!
- A whole lot of time is spent impressing other folks. You impress your boss when you show up for work and do an exceptional job, you impress your kids by showing up for them daily. It’s time to Impress Yourself!
For the month of November, I am challenging you to use journaling as a tool to change your communication message to yourself! There are 30 days in November. I am giving you 1 word each day to use as a prompt. You will reflect on how the word shows up in your life on that day and compose a journal entry. Your entry can be written or a short video that you keep on your phone. The words that I provide to you should evoke feelings of happiness, bravery, calmness, rejuvenation and friendliness.
I would love to know how this challenge goes for you. You can find me on both IG and Facebook at Origins of Peace to get the word for the day.
You can leave a comment one either platform to get the dialogue started.
Oh yea, if you’re not on my email list, you should be. Our next gratitude offering winner will be announced on Monday, November 4th. You must be on the list to get included in the drawing! Visit www.melissaarivers.com to sign up. You can see the prize for Monday’s drawing on my IG page.
Let’s connect!
Melissa
Remember When
Can you remember the last time that you were excited by the ordinary? I’m talking about those simple pleasures that we often taken for granted like nature, peace, love and even silence. Oftentimes we find ourselves caught up in acquiring more, achieving more and constantly looking for the next promotion, elevation or fancy purchase that we believe will help us to find happiness.
This past weekend, I had the pleasure of watching my grandbaby experience excitement from being able to play with a lid. As I watched her face glow with amusement, I could only think about how easy it is to forget about the simple things that once provided us with joy.
“I have three things to teach: simplicity, patience, compassion. These three are your greatest treasures.” `Lao Tzu
Today I am sharing 3 tips about simplicity, patience and compassion that may help you live a happier life.
- Living a life of simplicity will help you focus on what is important. Let me first start by saying that simplicity looks different for everyone and only you can decide what simplicity looks like for you. Personally I enjoy things with low or no maintenance, little fuss and very little worry. I normally spend more time, money and energy researching a product or service before making a purchase to alleviate or reduce the amount of stress that comes with a lot of wear and tear. Because I am a person who experiences anxiety when things are out of order, I attempt to maintain as much order as possible by keeping it simple.
- Be patient with yourself and others. Patience is important because it helps you build empathy for others and accept people for who they are. That last statement is so true but please understand that having patience with yourself is priority number one because it helps you become more tolerant of the different stages of life that you will experience. There will come a time when you feel inadequate. Instead of getting discouraged and beating yourself up remember to exercise patience!
- Extend compassion as often as possible. Have you ever found yourself saying, “it’s always something,” or “why can’t I ever catch a break?” The people around you are saying the same statements to themselves. Be kind and extend compassion to the next person because everyone is experiencing life and sometimes life can be tough.
Fill your life with simplicity, patience and compassion to not only live happier but also to live healthier. Incorporating these tips can reduce your stress level and boost your immune system.
In my last post I challenged you to make a list of the people, places, things and experiences that add peace to your life. If you’re not familiar, catch up by reading
Now that you have your list, use the following scale to rank the level of peace each item adds:
- 1-not much peace
- 2- moderate amount of peace
- 3-extreme peace
To elevate your Peace Factor spend more time focusing on the items ranked with a 3, determine if items ranked with a 2 can be elevated to a three and consider what changes should be made to remove or redefine items ranked with a 1.
This exercise can be challenging. If at anytime you feel yourself needing support simply email me at: info@designedbymelissarivers.com
Professional Habits To Maintain in Your 40’s That Will Keep You Feeling Peaceful
As a forty-something female professional, there are habits that you can implement or release that will boost your professional self-confidence and empower you to trust yourself more.
If you’ve been in your current position for an extended period of time, you may feel underwhelmed and uninspired. It may be difficult for you to focus on your work and deliver your absolute best. Unless you work for yourself or you operate the family business, this can be a real problem. Depending on who’s watching, you could find yourself in a situation where management doesn’t feel like you take your responsibilities seriously. If you work for yourself and fail to deliver a stellar product, you could appear as an amateur to those you conduct business with.
When I returned to work after recovering from cancer, I was my biggest critic. I felt insecure about my appearance and I didn’t feel on top of my game because personal development and professional training had taken a back seat to my recovery. I was also well over 40 and the corporate workplace was now flooded with Millennials!
Upon returning, there were several things that I did to boost my confidence. Today I am sharing 3 of my signature tips that will help you operate from a place of grace instead of a place of constant hustle.
The objectives are to be more polished, to trust yourself more and to feel good about who you are!
- Develop and implement a morning routine.
- Wake up early, spend time in prayer, affirm what you want and meditate on the good, positive situations that you are welcoming into your day.
- Release actions that are unnecessary.
- If you’re a woman who constantly apologizes even when situations do not warrant an apology, Stop. Over apologizing makes it appear that you are unsure you belong in the room. When these feeling arise (Imposter Syndrome) remember; you did the work to be in the room and grace elevates you further than effort ever will, Receive It.
- Remain Inspired.
- If you’re not excited by your work, find inspiration in the daily details. Examine your partnerships, goals, expected outcomes and even your clothing and accessories to find inspiration. I recently found inspiration in a pair of beautiful, hand-crafted earrings which where created by Angelique Car, owner of tha dak brand.
Check out these beauties!
- If you’re not excited by your work, find inspiration in the daily details. Examine your partnerships, goals, expected outcomes and even your clothing and accessories to find inspiration. I recently found inspiration in a pair of beautiful, hand-crafted earrings which where created by Angelique Car, owner of tha dak brand.
Are you inspired yet!?!
I’m inspired by the collaboration and individuality of the materials that were used. Each element has a specific purpose and performs a distinct role in the overall design. These earrings simply make me happy and that’s exactly what our clothing and accessory choices should do.
Here’s what Angelique has to say about her designs:
“Each pair of earrings are unique and one of a kind. I allow my creative wave to do it’s thing in the moment. Sometimes I come up with designs that really show what my mood was at that time. I feel like that’s what makes them so special, they are genuinely made with a little soul and a lot of life! I am at a very happy place in my life right now, and I am grateful that I can birth something that allows me to share that with the world.”
I can’t help but think about the individual gifts and talents that women posses. We are strong, resilient, tender and creative all at the same damn time.
At any given point we have the flexibility and ingenuity to pull from those resources to accomplish our goals and to create something beautiful. When opportunities arise for us to combine our gifts with the gifts of the next woman, we can come together and make a beautiful masterpiece, just like those earrings!
As promised, I have one more bonus tip for you.
- BONUS – Find your passion and cultivate it.
- Peace is my passion. With my passion I choose to teach conflict resolution strategies to women that provide guidance for mental clarity, self-preservation and service to others. I also create courses that empower women to trust themselves more! This is my passion and how I use it. To discover your passion, grab my e-book; Design Your Happy Track To Peace and schedule a Consultation so we can chat!
If you are interested in learning more about Angelique and her upcoming fall collection, check her out on Instagram at: @thadakbrand or shoot her an Email at thadakbrand@gmail.com. You can also find her on Facebook at: tha dak brand.
If you’re a female business owner or simply a female with a positive and uplifting message to share, let’s link up! I would love to feature you on my blog and learn more about what you’re up to.
Create Your Peace!
Melissa
Affirm To Nurture Your Relationships
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Affirmation #2 – I am creating true relationships and lasting connections by being grateful for each encounter, providing support without compromising my boundaries and holding space for us to evolve.”
I wrote this affirmation while thinking about the complexities of relationships and how self-love is a direct reflection of how we love others.
I am a firm believer in self-preservation and protecting my peace by properly managing my circle of influence but I understand fully that my relationships and how I show up in them are a direct reflection of how I show love to myself.
If I’m constantly telling myself that I am inadequate or lacking in certain areas, I will feel that I have the authorization to speak those same inequities into the lives of others.
This is completely false.
No one has the right to infuse their personal self-doubt on anyone else.
Affirm to Nurture Your Relationships.
- Decide today that you will speak better to yourself, think more highly about who you are and begin to value your own opinion. By doing so, you create a nurturing foundation that will be the basis for all of your relationships
- Set boundaries that create positive encounters. Make a decision to stop interjection your unsolicited opinions in other people’s lives. Nine times out of ten, nobody asked you…so stop. Leave something to the imagination.
- Express gratitude when someone shares their time, energy, knowledge and love with you
Remember: Your thoughts, words and actions should be for your greatest good and to be of service to others. Hold thoughts and actions toward others in the same regard.
Create your peace,
~Melissa
When Good is No Longer Good Enough
Peace Up! It’s been a while since my last post. In my absence I hope that life has been good to you and I hope that you’ve been good to yourself. I pray that you’ve taken time to indulge in things that you love and that you’ve experienced happiness and joy. As the saying goes, “life is not a dress rehearsal,” so get out there and live it!
Since my last post, I’ve turned the big 44. This is a huge deal for me because my birthday signifies another year of surviving and overcoming. Along with my 44th birthday, I celebrate being 4 years cancer free and 4 years free from a troubled marriage.
Life is good.
Life is really good but in this next year, good is no longer good enough. I’m ready for the exciting, adventurous and spontaneous.
I’m ready to start living again and experiencing new things. I’ve been in maintenance mode for far too long. Protecting my peace and preserving my happiness has been defined as making sure problems get solved, ends meet and opportunities are realized. I need a new definition. I need to incorporate things that I love such as: relaxing by the lake, driving to the mountains, hanging with friends and making time for self-care.
This one life that I’ve been blessed with, deserves an overhaul.
I’m sure that I’m not alone. Have you reached a placed in your life that no longer represents who you are or what you stand for? Are you ready to create new memories? Is good no longer good enough?
Now’s the time.
It’s time to choose different and to choose better. Peace is not simply the absence of conflict, but also the inclusion of all the things that celebrate who you are!
Challenge:
- Make a list of the things that make you happy but you seldom experience. As a child I loved gymnastics and ballet. I haven’t participated in those activities in years but the memories always make me smile.
- Once you’ve compiled your list, be the first person to send me your list in an email and you could win a free sample of my Peaceful Herbal Tea. Send your email to:info@designedbymelissarivers.com.
Your Heart Is Bigger Than You Think
I used to think that I only had a limited amount of space in my heart to love and appreciate certain situations, including people. I was convinced that my capacity meter for “stuff” was on the fairly low side. Over the years I’ve been met with unexpected events that challenged my perceived personal truths but also ignited my will to overcome and win. I’ve learned that people are designed to be durable and flexible if we choose to operate at full capacity. Today, I am sharing 3 points of action with you, that will help you create more space in your heart to accept, embrace and handle whatever you find yourself dealing with.
- Understand why life has presented you with this opportunity
One of my favorite scriptures in the Bible is; Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” From this scripture, I am reassured that unexpected events can actually be a blessing in disguise. When the event is truly embraced, our thoughts aren’t directly centered on our personal needs alone and we are challenged to think higher and to make peace with the situation
2. Focus only on what you have control over
Focus and take action on what you can control and have faith that the things you can’t control will also get taken care of. I’ve learned that good things are often orchestrated on my behalf simply because I did my part and showed up when it was my time to perform. You can find opportunities to be a blessing to others when they least expect it. Believe that the people you are connected to can’t fully do their work/assignment until you complete yours, and you can’t complete your work until others complete theirs. Things that we don’t have control over aren’t ours to control, they are simply an associated assignment. It’s not yours to handle but it is connected to you
3. Remain present and at peace
Do what you can today in order to accept what you’re facing. Taking small, daily steps toward acceptance will open your heart to new capacities of love and will help you navigate through unexpected change.
Challenge: Think about the most intensive challenge that you are currently facing and decide that you are going to rise to the occasion. What can you do today to embrace the change and release negative thoughts surrounding it. How will you show up? Who will you become after it’s over?
Note: To the Origins of Peace community, “thank you all so much for following the blog and for connecting with me in so many different ways. Effective immediately, blog posts will release once a month on or around the 10th of each month, and the Heal, Recover, Grow Newsletter will release quarterly. The next issue is scheduled to release on July 1st.”
You can always connect with me on all social media as Origins of Peace or by emailing me at: info@designedbymelissarivers.com
Peace In Action,
Melissa
Peace Within
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Hi Peace Makers, or should I say Peace Within Makers! I am excited to bring you this week’s blog post. We are discussing boosting our self-esteem through self-care and conflict resolution through positive self talk. I pray that you will find hope and encouragement through today’s reading and as always, I am praying that God gifts you with all the happiness that your heart can hold.
If this is your first time on my site, My name is Melissa Rivers and I am a Creative Peace Designer. That means I use my gifts of creative writing and mentoring to help others manage conflict, realize their hidden potential and create mental space for more peaceful engagements in their lives. My motto for this week is “my peace is constantly unfolding.”
If you haven’t read my last post entitled, A Place To Breathe, click here to get encouraged about pursuing those peculiar hobbies that bring you joy!
So let’s get into it!
What’s My Intention for this post – My intention is to provide tips for boosting your self-esteem through self-care and conflict resolution through positive self talk. Sometimes we can get so busy in life that we forget to slow down and breathe. It’s so easy for anxiety and overwhelm to creep in because we are doing all the things that we normally do, not realizing that we are operating out of stress. Unfortunately by the time most of us realizes that we are stressed out, we are in the midst of a huge meltdown. Through self-care and positive self talk, I regained control over my emotions and turned around, what could have become an unproductive weekend.
What’s Important for you to know -I declared this past Saturday as Melissa’s Self-Care Saturday. I’ve been extremely busying doing all the things that a responsible, grown woman does. If you fall into that category, you know doing all the things can lead to all the stress. As stress occupied my shoulders and mind, I wanted to completely check out and do nothing. Unfortunately with deadlines looming, I had to get creative in my quest to find peace. I grabbed 4 things; my essential oil diffuser, my Doterra Peppermint Essential Oil, my Bentonite Clay and my facial steamer. I created a Peppermint infused spa retreat in my bathroom. I filled my diffuser with water and added a few drops of Peppermint Essential Oil. After turning it on, I plugged in my facial steamer. I allowed the two steams to co-mingle and fill the room with a sense of calmness. After a few minutes of deep breathing and repeating positive self-affirmations, I felt the tension rushing away from my shoulders.
What Matters – Incorporating self-care into your daily routine is important for overall good health. You matter, your physical health matters and your mental health is just as important, if not more. Maybe you’re like me and have an extremely hectic schedule, if that’s the case, grab the items that I listed above and incorporate them into your weekly routine. If you need Doterra Essential Oils, I can help. Click here and complete the form. I will get in touch with you to place an order. I’ve included links below, to purchase the other items. If you are unfamiliar with the detoxifying benefits of Bentonite Clay, click here to read an article featured in Mother Nature Living Magazine to learn more. The facial steamer is an important element for dramatic effect. I only use the steamer to fill my room with steam. I know a lot of experts say that steam is great for your face but I tend to break out if I overuse it. One last thing, positive self-talk. You have to speak kindly to yourself in order to maintain peace and calmness. I don’t care how mad you may get or how big of a mistake you may make. Grant yourself some grace and be kind. Remember, your heart is listening and unpleasant words have a way of making a huge imprint. Refer back to my post entitled This Is What Happened, to get a list of affirmations that you can begin incorporating into your routine.
Creating Peace Maps to help individuals discover their fundamental necessities of peace, is what I do. If you would like to work with me, click the button below to schedule a 30 Minute Discovery Call. Schedule Appointment
Peace,
Melissa
Bentonite Clay, Doterra Essential Oil, Facial Steamer, Essential Oil Diffusser
The Best Program I Ever Developed Turned Out To Be An Absolute Bust ☹
For months I spent countless hours praying, researching, developing and consulting to include the right content that would make my program memorable and successful.
In spite of my efforts, there were things that I missed. I failed to include some important factors, which turned out to be a major misstep for me.
The program that I am referring to is my wedding and subsequently, my marriage.
September 18, 2010 was supposed to be the beginning of a life full of wedded bliss for me. In spite of the time spent planning and preparing, things didn’t quite turn out the way that I envisioned. Yes the ceremony took place and it was beautiful but the marriage didn’t last.
In hindsight, more time should have been spent understanding what I needed in a spouse and what would be required of me in order to have a successful marriage. Although I believe wholeheartedly in redemption, I can honestly say I consider this to be one of my biggest missed opportunities.
Can you relate? Have you ever exhausted all of your efforts and energy working on a ‘thing’ that didn’t turn out right? Are you tired of starting a project but never seeing it through to completion? Like years in the past, did you set goals for 2019 but have no idea how you’re going to accomplish them?
I believe that all things start from within and now is the perfect time to start fresh. In order to properly set my intentions toward success in 2019, I am dedicating three days to fasting, prayer & meditation, visualization and affirmations.
I invite you to join me.
Beginning January 14th, we will spend the first 20 minutes of each day with scriptures, affirmations and guided words for visualization that promote success, empowerment and completion.
I will post the affirmation cards on Sunday, January 13th at midnight. If you’re in, comment on the post or shoot me an email at melissarivers75@gmail.com.
You owe it to yourself to finish what you’ve started.
Let’s do this!
Much Love,
Melissa
My Soul Says Yes
Being emotionally well means that you have the ability to be aware of and accept your feelings, rather than deny them. You’re attentive to your thoughts, feelings and behaviors, both positive and negative.
I work with many women who carry an immense amount of guilt for various reasons. They feel guilty for settling in life, love and career. They feel guilty for occasionally wanting to choose themselves and say no to the demands of others. They feel guilty for wanting to be number one but always settling for a lower position.
This guilt carries a lot of weight and many adverse affects. Before you know it, feelings of stress and overwhelm consume you and you’ve lost your true self. You’re no longer the bold and confident woman that you once were.
When is enough…enough? When is it okay to put yourself first? Do you even know how to ask for better treatment and what does better treatment look like for you?
My goal as a Peace Coach is to help re-write your personal narrative. If you’re currently living a life that is not authentic to who you truly are, allow me to help you find your “Origins of Peace.”
Your “Origins of Peace” are the fundamental necessities that keep you grounded and at ease. The circumstances of life tend to make us forget what makes us happy, peaceful and full of joy. I can help you reconnect the dots.
If you are experiencing a disconnect in your life, start by reciting the Personal Plea below to make room for peace in your life.
Personal Plea
It’s me oh Lord. Standing in the need of being free from myself. Free from fear, self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy. These feelings have prevailed for far too long.
No longer do I want to worry about trivial matters that highjack my attention and hold my emotions hostage.
Today I will focus on calming the noise, accepting my vulnerabilities and being free to explore new perspectives.
No more mental battles. No more thoughts of defeat.
No more.
My Soul says yes to change. Restore my compassion towards myself. Renew my mind from crippling information. Touch me so that I am made whole.
I am strong and mighty in the earth. I have purpose and a mission to complete.
Thank you God for leading the way.
Much Love,
Melissa
