One of the hardest things people attempt to do during the holiday season is “attempt to remain positive when tensions are high.
One of the most common reasons this issue occurs is because people place themselves under a tremendous amount of pressure to show up and be present when they are feeling disconnected from friends and loved ones. To alleviate these feelings, the answer isn’t always as simple as saying no to an invitation or failing to show up for a gathering. Oftentimes the people who need your presence are the very ones who aggravate you to no end.
With that being said, I’m here to support you. I want to make sure that your energy is high, your vibe is positive, and you are ready to celebrate with those you love.
I’m providing you with 2 quick and easy to follow tips to protect your energy and remain positive during the holiday season.
Create a Visualization Shield. Visualization Shields are used to block out negative energy while allowing positive energy to flow without restriction. Start by taking a few deep breaths and then get perfectly still. Close your eyes and visualize a colorful, vibrant shield of love. In that shield you have peace, protection and amazing vibrancy. Your shield is your safe place that allows you to be present but protected.
Create a Social Wellness Plan. Create a plan that allows you to engage socially but also respects your personal boundaries. A good plan includes a Mission Statement, Established Goals, Executable Objectives, a Realistic Action Plan and a Sustainability Plan. This comprehensive plan is important for maintaining your Peace.
One of the most impactful ways of managing your Peace is to have a well, developed plan. My latest course, Peace by Designis available at my online school, The Design Academy. You can choose between General, VIP or Platinum Access to choose the best option for your needs.
Being sure of yourself * Acknowledging your strengths & opportunities * Trusting qualified partners to help you make it work * Seeking opportunities to glean wisdom * Being open to continuous improvement
November has been an extremely busy and rewarding month for me. With renewed intention and focus, I am serious about seeing the fruits of my labor manifest.
It’s interesting because I was certainly struggling a few months ago. I couldn’t find the time, energy, focus or resources to strategically grow my business.
Things have definitely change.
I had a meeting with my team (me) and came to the realization that things would never manifest if I did not take the time and make the effort to accomplish my dreams.
I realized that I needed a written, executable plan of action.
That’s simple. There is clarity in the written word and when you have clarity, you can move in confidence.
So, my top tip for turning up your confidence in your personal and professional life is to always have a written plan. PERIOD. Your plan serves as your blueprint to success.
On Black Friday, I am releasing my newest course, Peace By Design. This course will help you get clear about what you want in all areas of your life. I am equipping you with the knowledge and understanding of what it means to set executable goals and to determine who you will need to become in order to achieve those goals. Along with the course, you will receive my signature Herbal Tea Collection which includes Peaceful, Focus & Rejuvenation to help you design your way to peace and clarity.
There will only be 10 bundles available for purchase with all three Herbal Tea Blends. You can make sure you receive your bundle by pre-ordering yours today for $97.00.
As a forty-something female professional, there are habits that you can implement or release that will boost your professional self-confidence and empower you to trust yourself more.
If you’ve been in your current position for an extended period of time, you may feel underwhelmed and uninspired. It may be difficult for you to focus on your work and deliver your absolute best. Unless you work for yourself or you operate the family business, this can be a real problem. Depending on who’s watching, you could find yourself in a situation where management doesn’t feel like you take your responsibilities seriously. If you work for yourself and fail to deliver a stellar product, you could appear as an amateur to those you conduct business with.
When I returned to work after recovering from cancer, I was my biggest critic. I felt insecure about my appearance and I didn’t feel on top of my game because personal development and professional training had taken a back seat to my recovery. I was also well over 40 and the corporate workplace was now flooded with Millennials!
Upon returning, there were several things that I did to boost my confidence. Today I am sharing 3 of my signature tips that will help you operate from a place of grace instead of a place of constant hustle.
The objectives are to be more polished, to trust yourself more and to feel good about who you are!
Develop and implement a morning routine.
Wake up early, spend time in prayer, affirm what you want and meditate on the good, positive situations that you are welcoming into your day.
Release actions that are unnecessary.
If you’re a woman who constantly apologizes even when situations do not warrant an apology, Stop. Over apologizing makes it appear that you are unsure you belong in the room. When these feeling arise (ImposterSyndrome) remember; you did the work to be in the room and grace elevates you further than effort ever will, Receive It.
If you’re not excited by your work, find inspiration in the daily details. Examine your partnerships, goals, expected outcomes and even your clothing and accessories to find inspiration. I recently found inspiration in a pair of beautiful, hand-crafted earrings which where created by Angelique Car, owner of tha dak brand.
Check out these beauties!
Are you inspired yet!?!
I’m inspired by the collaboration and individuality of the materials that were used. Each element has a specific purpose and performs a distinct role in the overall design. These earrings simply make me happy and that’s exactly what our clothing and accessory choices should do.
Here’s what Angelique has to say about her designs:
“Each pair of earrings are unique and one of a kind. I allow my creative wave to do it’s thing in the moment. Sometimes I come up with designs that really show what my mood was at that time. I feel like that’s what makes them so special, they are genuinely made with a little soul and a lot of life! I am at a very happy place in my life right now, and I am grateful that I can birth something that allows me to share that with the world.”
I can’t help but think about the individual gifts and talents that women posses. We are strong, resilient, tender and creative all at the same damn time.
At any given point we have the flexibility and ingenuity to pull from those resources to accomplish our goals and to create something beautiful. When opportunities arise for us to combine our gifts with the gifts of the next woman, we can come together and make a beautiful masterpiece, just like those earrings!
As promised, I have one more bonus tip for you.
BONUS – Find your passion and cultivate it.
Peace is my passion. With my passion I choose to teach conflict resolution strategies to women that provide guidance for mental clarity, self-preservation and service to others. I also create courses that empower women to trust themselves more! This is my passion and how I use it. To discover your passion, grab my e-book; Design Your Happy Track To Peace and schedule a Consultation so we can chat!
If you are interested in learning more about Angelique and her upcoming fall collection, check her out on Instagram at: @thadakbrand or shoot her an Email at firstname.lastname@example.org. You can also find her on Facebook at: tha dak brand.
If you’re a female business owner or simply a female with a positive and uplifting message to share, let’s link up! I would love to feature you on my blog and learn more about what you’re up to.
In a time where chasing the next greatest trend, fad, influencer or improve thyself technique is the thing to do, people are fiercely striving for perfection in their professional and personal lives. This non-stop sprint for greatness has left a majority of folks stressed out, tired and overwhelmed. As a result, the World Health Organization (WHO) has declared “Burnout” as a diagnosable condition. Their definition of burnout focuses solely on the professional perspective but I believe if we fail to equally consider personal burnout in the definition, we are only examining half of the issue.
My personal definition of burnout is: having feelings of exhaustion and extreme tiredness with increased mental isolation from one’s personal and professional responsibilities which result in reduced productivity.
Many people experience burnout in their personal and professional lives without realizing it. There’s the pressure to attain a certain lifestyle or to achieve a certain social status, but there’s also the pressure to be the one who people can depend on and the one who has it all together.
In the workplace, employees are working longer hours, performing jobs they despise and working through their lunch break to chase the so-called American Dream. Those actions contribute to exhaustion and regret.
If you think you may be suffering from Professional burnout, try incorporating the following actions and seek professional help if necessary.
Establish healthy connections/relationships at work
Unplug during your lunch break; no phone, no meetings, just eat
Schedule quarterly vacation days throughout the year to do something meaningless and fun. Don’t wait until Summer or Christmas break to take time off
Personal burnout can be a little more difficult to recognize, mainly because no one wants to freely admit when your own life becomes too much to handle. To give you a better understanding of personal burnout, I’m going to extend to you a looking glass into my life.
In 2015, I went through divorce, cancer and job loss all within a 6 month period. I was exhausted, my self-esteem was low, my concentration was non-existent and I was persistently overwhelmed. I did not have a steady income again until November 2016. I was on the verge of losing my home and my sanity. While dealing with all these things, I was raising a teenager, being a supportive daughter, sister, auntie and friend while being completely depleted inside. Personal burnout.
Personal burnout comes from continuously mismanaging your life by neglecting your personal needs and putting the needs of others before your own, neglecting opportunities for self-care and personal well-being and failing to see the beauty in the present moment.
The greatest gift that I’ve learned on my road to self restoration is:
I AM MY PRIORITY.
I’m giving you a few of my top reminders to help you focus on self-care, self-restoration and self-preservation.
Schedule self-care appointments frequently
Unplug from social media often
Use the letters N.O. freely
Don’t lose yourself, trying to save someone else
Live and let live
Always remember: “We each have a life to live and personal burdens to bear. You are here as a support, not a savior.”
For more tips on managing burnout and protecting your peace, subscribe to my blog and newsletter by visiting www.designedbymelissarivers.com.
I used to think that I only had a limited amount of space in my heart to love and appreciate certain situations, including people. I was convinced that my capacity meter for “stuff” was on the fairly low side. Over the years I’ve been met with unexpected events that challenged my perceived personal truths but also ignited my will to overcome and win. I’ve learned that people are designed to be durable and flexible if we choose to operate at full capacity. Today, I am sharing 3 points of action with you, that will help you create more space in your heart to accept, embrace and handle whatever you find yourself dealing with.
Understand why life has presented you with this opportunity
One of my favorite scriptures in the Bible is; Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” From this scripture, I am reassured that unexpected events can actually be a blessing in disguise. When the event is truly embraced, our thoughts aren’t directly centered on our personal needs alone and we are challenged to think higher and to make peace with the situation
2. Focus only on what you have control over
Focus and take action on what you can control and have faith that the things you can’t control will also get taken care of. I’ve learned that good things are often orchestrated on my behalf simply because I did my part and showed up when it was my time to perform. You can find opportunities to be a blessing to others when they least expect it. Believe that the people you are connected to can’t fully do their work/assignment until you complete yours, and you can’t complete your work until others complete theirs. Things that we don’t have control over aren’t ours to control, they are simply an associated assignment. It’s not yours to handle but it is connected to you
3. Remain present and at peace
Do what you can today in order to accept what you’re facing. Taking small, daily steps toward acceptance will open your heart to new capacities of love and will help you navigate through unexpected change.
Challenge: Think about the most intensive challenge that you are currently facing and decide that you are going to rise to the occasion. What can you do today to embrace the change and release negative thoughts surrounding it. How will you show up? Who will you become after it’s over?
Note: To the Origins of Peace community, “thank you all so much for following the blog and for connecting with me in so many different ways. Effective immediately, blog posts will release once a month on or around the 10th of each month, and the Heal, Recover, Grow Newsletter will release quarterly. The next issue is scheduled to release on July 1st.”
Hi Peace Makers, or should I say Peace Within Makers! I am excited to bring you this week’s blog post. We are discussing boosting our self-esteem through self-care and conflict resolution through positive self talk. I pray that you will find hope and encouragement through today’s reading and as always, I am praying that God gifts you with all the happiness that your heart can hold.
If this is your first time on my site, My name is Melissa Rivers and I am a Creative Peace Designer. That means I use my gifts of creative writing and mentoring to help others manage conflict, realize their hidden potential and create mental space for more peaceful engagements in their lives. My motto for this week is “my peace is constantly unfolding.”
If you haven’t read my last post entitled, A Place To Breathe, click here to get encouraged about pursuing those peculiar hobbies that bring you joy!
So let’s get into it!
What’s My Intention for this post – My intention is to provide tips for boosting your self-esteem through self-care and conflict resolution through positive self talk. Sometimes we can get so busy in life that we forget to slow down and breathe. It’s so easy for anxiety and overwhelm to creep in because we are doing all the things that we normally do, not realizing that we are operating out of stress. Unfortunately by the time most of us realizes that we are stressed out, we are in the midst of a huge meltdown. Through self-care and positive self talk, I regained control over my emotions and turned around, what could have become an unproductive weekend.
What’s Important for you to know -I declared this past Saturday as Melissa’s Self-Care Saturday. I’ve been extremely busying doing all the things that a responsible, grown woman does. If you fall into that category, you know doing all the things can lead to all the stress. As stress occupied my shoulders and mind, I wanted to completely check out and do nothing. Unfortunately with deadlines looming, I had to get creative in my quest to find peace. I grabbed 4 things; my essential oil diffuser, my Doterra Peppermint Essential Oil, my Bentonite Clay and my facial steamer. I created a Peppermint infused spa retreat in my bathroom. I filled my diffuser with water and added a few drops of Peppermint Essential Oil. After turning it on, I plugged in my facial steamer. I allowed the two steams to co-mingle and fill the room with a sense of calmness. After a few minutes of deep breathing and repeating positive self-affirmations, I felt the tension rushing away from my shoulders.
What Matters – Incorporating self-care into your daily routine is important for overall good health. You matter, your physical health matters and your mental health is just as important, if not more. Maybe you’re like me and have an extremely hectic schedule, if that’s the case, grab the items that I listed above and incorporate them into your weekly routine. If you need Doterra Essential Oils, I can help. Click here and complete the form. I will get in touch with you to place an order. I’ve included links below, to purchase the other items. If you are unfamiliar with the detoxifying benefits of Bentonite Clay, click here to read an article featured in Mother Nature Living Magazine to learn more. The facial steamer is an important element for dramatic effect. I only use the steamer to fill my room with steam. I know a lot of experts say that steam is great for your face but I tend to break out if I overuse it. One last thing, positive self-talk. You have to speak kindly to yourself in order to maintain peace and calmness. I don’t care how mad you may get or how big of a mistake you may make. Grant yourself some grace and be kind. Remember, your heart is listening and unpleasant words have a way of making a huge imprint. Refer back to my post entitled This Is What Happened, to get a list of affirmations that you can begin incorporating into your routine.
Creating Peace Maps to help individuals discover their fundamental necessities of peace, is what I do. If you would like to work with me, click the button below to schedule a 30 Minute Discovery Call. Schedule Appointment
Hi PeaceMakers! I am so excited to have you on my site today! Thanks for your continued support and encouragement.
What’s My Intent for this post: My intention is to give you a quick word of encouragement. With that said, if this is your first time checking me out, My name is Melissa Rivers and I am a Peace Coach. Most of the time, I coach entrepreneurs in their quest to plan, build and manage a business that is authentic to their unique gifts and talents. In addition to that I coach women in designing self-care routines that promote mental clarity, self-preservation and service to self.
What’s Important for you to know: Both my Leadership Academy & Personal Coaching programs are heart centered. Together, you & I sit down and create a Peace Map that will help you peacefully move through your leadership development program or your current crisis situation. I’ve assisted clients during career, finance, relationship and health transitions. What are my qualifications? I have a full-fledged Master’s degree in Peace & Conflict Studies, I am a Certified Change Manager and a Certified Lean Six Sigma Professional. That means, I have the necessary skill-set to help you identify the underlying issues, create a plan of change and give you the steps to make that change part of your normal routine.
What Matters: I stopped by today with a word of encouragement. “Don’t be afraid to build your business your way”.If you don’t hear anything else that I say to you, hear this. It is perfectly okay to do youand to pursue a business that makes you feel good, provides a useful service to others and that caters to your unique gifts & talents. I was recently told that you can’t create a profitable business from doing the things that you like to do and if it makes you feel good, it’s a hobby.
A hobby? Wrong, wrong & wrong! With the right mentor and tools, you can turn your passion into a successful business that feeds your spirit and your pockets.
I invite you to sign up for my N.I.C.E Mentoring program today. Click here to get started!
Don’t give others the power to deter you from following your heart and pursuing a cause that you truly believe in. Peace is my cause and I am all in. Too many women in our community deal with setbacks from infidelity issues, unexpected health diagnosis and sudden job loss, just to name a few.
There is a map to peace during the crisis. Let me help you figure it out.
If you’re local to the Charlotte, NC Metro area. Join me on March 2nd for “No More Struggle Prayers.” This is an interactive creative writing course where I teach you how to compose prayers that are filled with language to inspire, uplift and encourage! Click here to register.
If this is your first time on my page. My name is Melissa Rivers of OriginofPeace.com. I am a Peace Coach helping individuals heal from past hurts and regain their confidence. I am excited to have you join me. Please consider signing up to receive emails from me. Let’s do a quick recap of the last few posts. Last week we discussed the importance of having an established morning routine. I gave you the 3 Fundamental Necessities that I use to make sure my day starts off great. I also gave you several of the affirmations that I repeat throughout my day. Prior to that, we spent time fasting, affirming and visualizing what success means to us and how to get motivated to finish what we start. Today, we are taking a closer look at the affirmations that I shared last week. As promised, I am going to breakdown each affirmation by letting you know what inspired it, a Personal Reflection of what the text means to me, and how God’s Love ties it all together. The affirmations that I shared last week are as follows: I am loved, I am accepted, I am successful, I am rewarded, and All things work together for my good. This group of affirmations is inspired by The Book of Esther. Are you familiar with Esther’s story? If not, I will give you the quick, snapchat version of it. A young girl loses both parents at a young age, her male cousin Mordecai takes her in and raises her as his own child. She develops into a beautiful woman and attracts the eye of King Xerxes. The King chooses her to be his Queen. Here’s our first clue about the title. A poor orphaned girl who was taken in by her cousin ascended to royalty and lived a luxurious life. Esther’s story is the perfect come up story. Can you imagine going from Orphan to Queen, from broke to balling, from poverty to luxury? I can, and that is why the inspiration for my affirmations is, The Book of Esther. Let me put on my visionary goggles and dive in to the text for you.
The First Affirmation is: I Am Loved
Inspired by Esther 2:7 – Mordecai had a cousin name Hadassah, whom he had brought up because she had neither Father nor Mother. This young woman, who was also know as Esther, had a lovely figure and was beautiful. Mordecai had taken her as his own daughter when her father and mother died.
Personal Reflection: I am grateful that in times of tragedy, my family has had my back. I lost my Dad at age 2 but I’ve had male figures throughout my life that provided the stability and love that I was unable to receive from my Father.
God’s Love:In times when I feel alone and uncertain of my future, God strategically places people in my life to love me, to affirm me and to take care of me.
The Second Affirmation is: I Am Accepted Inspired by Esther 2:9 – She pleased him and won his favor. Immediately he provided her with her beauty treatments and special food. He assigned to her seven female attendants selected from the King’s Palace and moved her and her attendants into the best place in the Harem. 2:15-…and Esther won the favor of everyone who saw her.
Personal Reflection: When I feel inadequate or under qualified, God makes room for me in high places and He positions me exactly where I need to be. God’s Love: God accepts me and approves of me, just as I am and with all of my flaws.
The Third Affirmation is: I Am Rewarded Inspired by Esther 2:17-18 – Now the King was attracted to Esther more than to any of the other women, and she won his favor and approval…So he set a royal crown on her head and made her Queen…And the King gave a great banquet, Esther’s banquet…
Personal Reflection: I am humbled by the ways that God has blessed me. He’s given me beauty for my ashes on so many occasions. I feel like royalty because God has crowned me with healing and redemption over and over again.
God’s Love: Just when I think God has blown my mind with a blessing, he goes way above and beyond that blessing to bless me again.
The Fouth Affirmation is: I Am Successful
Inspired by Esther Chapter 5:2-3-…when the King saw Queen Esther standing in the court she found favor in his sight, and the King held out to Esther the Golden Scepter that was in his hand. And the King said to her, “What do you wish, Queen Esther? What is your request? It shall be given to you up to half the kingdom!”
Personal Reflection:I am blessed to hold positions that I never imagined myself qualified for. I am grateful that my worth and value are acknowledged, appreciated and accepted.
God’s Love: God continues to make room for me to share my gifts. He ensures that my knowledge and input are appreciated.
The Last Affirmation is: All Things Work Together For My Good
God’s Love: God has blessed me in every season of my life. He keeps reinventing me and creating a better version of me. In spite of my many challenges and short-comings, he has always placed me on top. God makes room for me to share my gifts and talents with others, he’s given me a bold and confident spirit and he places me among people that contribute to my growth and well-being.
Isn’t God Amazing?
So just like Esther, I started at the bottom but now I am here. Here to command the room, here to use my talents, here to walk boldly among authority figures and here to take my rightful place as royalty.
Those are my affirmations. When I repeat them, all of the thoughts and images that I’ve shared with you, circulate through my mind and I walk boldly through my day, affirming all that God has called me to be.
And my friends, That is What Happend.
Just like me, you can change the way you see yourself.
I would love to help you create Affirmations and that are personal and useful for your everyday life. It all starts with Mental Clarity through Prayer. My latest course entitled, “No More Struggle Prayers” will help you find the correct words to pray and affirm over your life.
Through creative writing, I will teach you how design bold and intentional prayers using your inspiration of choice. I am a Christian so I use the Bible often as inspiration but please feel comfortable to bring whatever material inspires you.
If this is your first time on the site, my name is Melissa Rivers of OriginsofPeace.com. I am a Peace Coach helping individuals and business owners take action to solve problems using their unique gifts and talents.
Last week we spent time developing a routine with our 3 Day Fast, The Fundamental Necessities of Success. We denounced procrastination and made room for process, completion and reward in our lives. We completed a fast, studied scriptures and affirmed positivity. Click here to grab this essential free tool.
In keeping the same momentum, let’s talk about the importance of having an established morning routine.
If we’re honest with ourselves, routines are difficult to implement. Getting started can be tough.
I would like to encourage you that establishing a morning routine is totally worth the effort. Waking up at a designated time, and putting a few tasks in place will set the tone for your entire day.
My morning routine includes 3 fundamental necessities:
Waking up to a musical alarm. I’ve programmed Alexa to wake me up to some good, inspirational, soul-stirring music. This week’s song of choice is “Thank You”, by Benita Washington. Listening to this song reminds me of how grateful I am for life. I lay in bed while the song plays listening to the words and thinking about all the victories in my life and the obstacles that I’ve overcome.
I read scripture or an inspirational quote. I am very much an Old Testament girl. A Torah girl to be exact. I love the first 5 books of the bible. Most days you will find me in Exodus. I love Proverbs and Psalms as well.
I love the book of Exodus because it reinforces the necessity of progression for me. It inspires me to keep moving forward through conflict, doubt and uncertainty. The only way out of a tough situation is to keep going. Exodus gives the direction to “gather & go” when dealing with situations like anxiety, unfaithfulness and lack of resources, just to name a few. You gather the lesson that you need from the event and then you move on! There’s so much instruction in Exodus. I encourage you to spend time reading this extremely informative book if you haven’t recently.
I speak positive affirmations over myself and silently meditate. I believe in positivity and I very much believe in the gift of silence. In a time when things seem to be extremely negative and moments of silence are hard to grab, you have to make time to be kind to yourself and speak life affirming words of encouragement. I am providing an example of a few affirmations that I speak over myself throughout the day:
I am loved
I am appreciated
I am rewarded
I am successful
All things work together for my good
After repeating the affirmations 3 times, I sit in silence for a few minutes and take time to absorb the words. I visualize what each phrase represents in my life.
Next week I will break down each phrase and tell you what each represents to me.
The 3 practices that I’ve mentioned are the core foundation of my morning routine. Some mornings I add journaling while enjoying a cup of herbal tea from www.handsofsage.com.
If you currently do not have a morning routine established, I encourage you to get one. Doing so will be one of the best and most strategic decisions that you can implement along your path of peace.
Starting the New Year with renewed perspective. “It’s not always about what you do. Oftentimes it’s about how you do it.” Here’s to a year of saying yes to yourself and no to what you simply don’t want to do.🎉
” We carry the message in many small, subtle, but powerful ways. We do our own-recovery work and become a living demonstration of hope, self-love, comfort and health. These quiet behaviors can be a powerful message.” – The Language of Letting Go (Melody Beattie)
The best way to make an impact on others is to be a living demonstration of the message you want to communicate.
Many talk about self-love in public but fail to demonstrate it in their private lives.
A thorough self-love routine can include pampering and relaxation but more importantly it should involve setting boundaries, making time for self and doing things that promote positive mental and physical health.
Setting boundaries is how we demonstration our love of self to others. If we’re constantly saying yes, over-extending ourselves and repeatedly putting the needs of others ahead of our own, we’ve failed to establish necessary boundaries in our lives. The problem with always being available and always saying yes is that you eliminate time to be still and self-evaluate. If you’re constantly chasing everyone else’s needs you could miss those internal signals that alert you when things are going wrong internally.
The best way to set personal boundaries is to ask yourself a few questions?
How can I peacefully co-exist with myself?
How can I balance my desire to help others with my obligation to care for myself?
How can I make the most impact in the shortest amount of time?
Answering these questions will help you create an action plan to lead a more balanced life.
Prayer: Today I am thankful for a balanced life. I am thankful for opportunities to serve others and myself. I acknowledge quiet moments of reflection and I value the self-love and empowerment contained in those moments. Thank you for opportunities to release co-dependency and to embrace self-love. By doing this I will be of greater service to myself and others.