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Day 6: Grant Yourself Some Grace

Day 6:

I hope this post finds you well. I intentionally took a few days off from posting to rest my mind. I’ll be sure to catch us up before the week ends.

Listen, whatever your role during this pandemic, remember to grant yourself some grace. Put some distance between reality and expectation and know that you are doing the best that you can in this situation.

If you’re working from home, your office hours aren’t going to look the same as they would if you were still going into the office. If you’re homeschooling your children, their school day will not look the same as a regular school day. It’s important for you to know that and to be easy with yourself.

I challenge you to accept the alternative and grant yourself some grace.

A little grace

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Day4: Do Something That Brings You Joy!

At the house of course!

Keep it light,

Melissa

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Just Being Honest

Good Morning Origins of Peace Family.

I pray you’re day is off to a great start. I’m slowly but surely making my way back to my blog sites and social media pages. I really needed a break. My capacity to process information was exceeded and there was no more room in the inn.

So what happened?

  1. First, my stepfather died. It was unexpected and tragic. I was sad, mad and angry all at the same time. Although I tried my best to be strong and understand that death is a part of life, it became overwhelming. I felt the need to protect the little time I had to myself.
  2. The helicopter crash that Killed Kobe, his daughter Gianna and the other seven beautiful souls further impacted my need to retreat from social media. That story is so heartbreaking.
  3.  I’ve been working! Since January 1st I’ve picked up 3 new, paying clients and it feels amazing. I often do things for the sake of helping others but to actually put guidelines in place to reap the financial rewards of a hard days work is completly gratify.
Morning Rituals
I’m loving my “Sorry I’m late, I Didn’t Want To Come” Coffee Mug and my Morning Blush Herbal Tea crafted by Hands of Sage

When it comes to social media and the amount of information you can handle, each person is different. Many of my peers jumped on to offer insight and encouragement into the helicopter accident, that’s simply not how God built me or many of us. The truth is the situation is heartbreaking and I needed time to process what occurred. Those of us who’ve lost loved ones can attest to the raw feelings that arise each time a tragedy of this nature occurs.

There are several ways that I could go with this post but I simply want to encourage you to take a break when you need one. You don’t have to always comment or show up. It’s perfectly ok to take time to love on yourself extra hard, especially when tragedy occurs. Always remember, self-care is not selfish, it’s necessary.

I am working with a client who is currently recovering from being a people pleaser. She’s spent many frustrated years trying to live up to the expectations of others by showing up for them when she honestly had nothing left to give. In the end she found out she was never really appreciated. Now I am working with her on an action plan to improve her self-esteem and boost her confidence. I pray you’re never faced with this situation but if you are, I am here to help you.

If you would like to schedule a consultation to discuss what the next chapter of your life looks like both personally and professionally let’s chat! wp-1578802244804.jpg

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Remaining Positive in Negative Situations

One of the hardest things people attempt to do during the holiday season is “attempt to remain positive when tensions are high.

One of the most common reasons this issue occurs is because people place themselves under a tremendous amount of pressure to show up and be present when they are feeling disconnected from friends and loved ones. To alleviate these feelings, the answer isn’t always as simple as saying no to an invitation or failing to show up for a gathering. Oftentimes the people who need your presence are the very ones who aggravate you to no end.

With that being said, I’m here to support you.  I want to make sure that your energy is high, your vibe is positive, and you are ready to celebrate with those you love.

I’m providing you with 2 quick and easy to follow tips to protect your energy and remain positive during the holiday season.  

  1. Create a Visualization Shield. Visualization Shields are used to block out negative energy while allowing positive energy to flow without restriction. Start by taking a few deep breaths and then get perfectly still. Close your eyes and visualize a colorful, vibrant shield of love. In that shield you have peace, protection and amazing vibrancy. Your shield is your safe place that allows you to be present but protected.
  2. Create a Social Wellness Plan. Create a plan that allows you to engage socially but also respects your personal boundaries. A good plan includes a Mission Statement, Established Goals, Executable Objectives, a Realistic Action Plan and a Sustainability Plan. This comprehensive plan is important for maintaining your Peace.

One of the most impactful ways of managing your Peace is to have a well, developed plan. My latest course, Peace by Design is available at my online school, The Design Academy. You can choose between General, VIP or Platinum Access to choose the best option for your needs.

Cheers to a Peacefully Positive Holiday Season!

Create Your Peace.

 

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Connectedness

One of my top 5 Strengths from Strengths Finder is Connectedness. This means I am certain that things happen for a reason.

It all started in April when @Shermikathelight posted on Instagram about an event that she would be speaking at in October. From that point forward I knew I had to be in attendance. Shermika and I were classmates in Grad. School. We both had aspirations of starting our own businesses after graduation. I watched on social media as Shermika started her company, going door to door marketing her business. I also had a social media front row seat when things took off for her. I watched in amazement as she nurtured her business into a powerful brand. I knew that in order to successfully and intentionally grow my business on my terms, I needed to gain some knowledge and insight from her. I did just that!

Just over a week ago, I jumped on a flight to Atlanta and I attended #werkprayslay. It was absolutely everything that I’ve never imagined. I mean never, ever. This Women’s Empowerment Conference was one for the books. The colors, the lighting, the details, the information, the vendors, the volunteers, the attendees, the speakers, the hostess, the D.J. and the fabulous visionary @Koereyelle made this a life changing event for me. Before I attended, I had no idea that this beautiful community of women business owners existed.

I have a solid plan for my business now. No more taking bits and pieces of information and trying to figure out how it all ties together. Some of the strategies discussed were, how to land Corporate and Government Contracts, how to Slay Procrastination, how to Change Your Mindset and Secure the Bag, how to Be Your Own Publicist, how to use Video to Slay Your Personal Brand, and so much more! I’m telling you, this ain’t even half of it.

As I said in my previous post, I had a chance to thank @ChefAhki for positively impacting my life after a cancer diagnosis. You can find that post by clicking here.

I can safely bet that I was one of the older women at the conference, but I didn’t feel left out. @Koereyelle and her team did a phenomenal job of making it a safe space to learn and be vulnerable. I even swagged and surfed for the first time ever! (that wasn’t a thing when I attended an HBCU)

Why am I telling you all of this??? Because it matters who you are connected to. My connection with @Shermikiathelight through social media exposed me to a whole new world of confident, brilliant and paid Sistas who are out here doing their thang! It matters who you follow and who you’re connected to.

If you are a female business owner, I highly recommend the @WerkPraySlay Conference. I’m sure planning has already begun for 2020. You definitely don’t want to miss it. I know that I won’t miss it!

One of the top traits of a person with Connectedness as a Strength is having confidence in their gifts, but knowing they do not have all the answers. As a reward for my humility, God made room for me in a place that I didn’t even know existed, and it is a place of overflowing resources!🤲🏾

I won a free Website Copy Audit by Word Stylitz to amplify the impact that I have on my ideal client. April Beverley of @baabwriting will definitely get me all the way together.🙌🏾This brilliant lady is out here commanding coins with the power of her words.

If you are a female business owner looking to connect with a like-minded Sista on the move, email me. I would love to join forces and hold one another accountable to do the #werk!

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Why Journaling Works & How to Do It Better

Do you Journal?  If not, what’s holding you back and if you do, what keeps you going?

A lot of people journal to release emotion and organize their feelings. To be honest, we’re all out here experiencing about 27 emotions daily. That is quite a ride and it’s tough to manage it all. So, what we’re doing is taking the emotion adding to it our daily responsibilities plus the needs and expectations from others and then attempting to get through the day without a method to release. This is the perfect formula for a mental breakdown.

I get it, we want to appear like we have our stuff together with little resistance, add to that this whole self-care trend of “don’t kill my vibe, “don’t interrupt my peace” and “don’t bother me with that”, this leaves us feeling obligated to hold in our emotions.

I’ve found journaling to be a helpful outlet. During those times when I am overflowing with emotions, both positive and negative, journaling helps me to reflect on events, organize my thoughts, release some pinned up energy and even generate solutions. It’s one of the many tools that can be used to re-direct your energy.

There’s another benefit of journaling that very few people notice. Journaling helps you to identify trends. If you journal often and notice a trend of negative or low-energy words and phrases, it’s safe to say you are probably suffering with Imposter Syndrome, self-sabotage and maybe even low self-esteem. If this is you, it’s time for a change in perspective.

I deal with those feelings too. I doubt my abilities, second guess my capabilities and I will overthink a scenario to the very extreme. It’s quite exhausting but I’ve figured out how to manage those feelings.

If you’ve been a member of the Origins of Peace community for any amount of time, you know that our #1 goal is to empower you to get out here and Impress Yourself. There are two reasons why this is important:cropped-origins-of-peace-1-1.png

  1. If you don’t impress yourself, no one else will ever stand a chance of impressing you. This is important for business deals, relationships, money goals, all of that. You must set a standard and stick to it. Example, if you want to be in a loving relationship, you must first love yourself. Impress yourself by doing things you enjoy and going to places that make you happy. This produces impression and excitement. It’s mentally stimulating, and it gets you into the habit of Impressing Yourself so that you will know when others are meeting and exceeding your expectations!
  2. A whole lot of time is spent impressing other folks. You impress your boss when you show up for work and do an exceptional job, you impress your kids by showing up for them daily. It’s time to Impress Yourself!

For the month of November, I am challenging you to use journaling as a tool to change your communication message to yourself! There are 30 days in November. I am giving you 1 word each day to use as a prompt. You will reflect on how the word shows up in your life on that day and compose a journal entry. Your entry can be written or a short video that you keep on your phone. The words that I provide to you should evoke feelings of happiness, bravery, calmness, rejuvenation and friendliness.create-her-stock-office-beauty4

I would love to know how this challenge goes for you. You can find me on both IG and Facebook at Origins of Peace to get the word for the day.

You can leave a comment one either platform to get the dialogue started.

Oh yea, if you’re not on my email list, you should be. Our next gratitude offering winner will be announced on Monday, November 4th. You must be on the list to get included in the drawing! Visit www.melissaarivers.com to sign up. You can see the prize for Monday’s drawing on my IG page.

Let’s connect!

Melissa

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Remember When

Can you remember the last time that you were excited by the ordinary? I’m talking about those simple pleasures that we often taken for granted like nature, peace, love and even silence. Oftentimes we find ourselves caught up in acquiring more, achieving more and constantly looking for the next promotion, elevation or fancy purchase that we believe will help us to find happiness.

This past weekend, I had the pleasure of watching my grandbaby experience excitement from being able to play with a lid. As I watched her face glow with amusement, I could only think about how easy it is to forget about the simple things that once provided us with joy.

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“I have three things to teach: simplicity, patience, compassion. These three are your greatest treasures.” `Lao Tzu

Today I am sharing 3 tips about simplicity, patience and compassion that may help you live a happier life.

  1. Living a life of simplicity will help you focus on what is important. Let me first start by saying that simplicity looks different for everyone and only you can decide what simplicity looks like for you. Personally I enjoy things with low or no maintenance, little fuss and very little worry. I normally spend more time, money and energy researching a product or service before making a purchase to alleviate or reduce the amount of stress that comes with a lot of wear and tear. Because I am a person who experiences anxiety when things are out of order, I attempt to maintain as much order as possible by keeping it simple.
  2. Be patient with yourself and others. Patience is important because it helps you build empathy for others and accept people for who they are. That last statement is so true but please understand that having patience with yourself is priority number one because it helps you become more tolerant of the different stages of life that you will experience. There will come a time when you feel inadequate. Instead of getting discouraged and beating yourself up remember to exercise patience!
  3. Extend compassion as often as possible. Have you ever found yourself saying, “it’s always something,” or “why can’t I ever catch a break?” The people around you are saying the same statements to themselves. Be kind and extend compassion to the next person because everyone is experiencing life and sometimes life can be tough.

Fill your life with simplicity, patience and compassion to not only live happier but also to live healthier. Incorporating these tips can reduce your stress level and boost your immune system.

In my last post I challenged you to make a list of the people, places, things and experiences that add peace to your life. If you’re not familiar, catch up by reading

Grace & Mercy Have My Back

Now that you have your list, use the following scale to rank the level of peace each item adds:

  • 1-not much peace
  • 2- moderate amount of peace
  • 3-extreme peace

To elevate your Peace Factor spend more time focusing on the items ranked with a 3, determine if items ranked with a 2 can be elevated to a three and consider what changes should be made to remove or redefine items ranked with a 1.

This exercise can be challenging. If at anytime you feel yourself needing support simply email me at: info@designedbymelissarivers.com

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Grace & Mercy Have My Back!

If you are new to my page, my name is Melissa Rivers and I am a Creative Peace Coach! In everyday terms this means I am a Conflict Resolution Strategist. I use my gifts of creativity and communication to teach strategies that provide guidance to achieving mental clarity, embracing self-preservation and prioritizing service to others.

Today we are discussing Affirmation #3 from my Instagram 5 Day Affirmation Challenge –  “I am professing my boldness by trusting grace and mercy to follow me, believing that greater days are in front of me and knowing that God is for me.”

I am on a mission of intention to impress myself in all areas of my life every single day.

Screenshot_20190918-161237The inspiration behind the third affirmation is sheer determination. I am creating a new blueprint for how I manage my wellness dimensions, and trusting that things will be better than they’ve ever been.

If you are not familiar with the Dimensions of Wellness, they are: Spiritual, Physical, Emotional, Environmental, Intellectual, Social, Occupational and Financial.

I am deconstructing each area and authentically rebuilding. I am shaking things up, moving things around, possibly leaving things behind and definitely welcoming new experiences. My faith walk and “works” are in full affect.

I am trusting God to create new opportunities and new spaces for me, but I also understand that my reasonable service is to put in the work to acquire the newness.

I am definitely ready.

Just the other day, I signed up for a personal development class and mistakenly showed up to the venue on the wrong day. I walked into a room filled with women discussing wealth and investments, professing their love of God and sharing personal success stories about their finances. These were definitely my people.

This diverse group of women welcomed me in to their sacred space and made room for me at their table. Grace & Mercy had my back!

Not too long ago, circumstances made it necessary for me to cash in my retirement savings to pay for routine expenses; mortgage, healthcare, groceries, and all those other things you need to survive. This was an extremely uncomfortable time for me because I held the belief that retirement funds should only be used for living expenses during retirement. I quickly learned that “change is the only thing that is constant,” and I now appreciate doing the work to have the funds available when I needed them most.

When the time was right, I began rebuilding my retirement fund. I prayed for guidance and instruction on how to strategically rebuild my account.

In return, God sent me to this group of women who will educate, encourage and support me along the way.

This was a gentle reminder that miracles happen when awe & expectancy intersect. As the affirmation declares, I am boldly trusting grace & mercy to follow me while believing God that my greater days are in front of me!

So here’s what’s important. Everyone experiences times in life when a shift is necessary. If you’ve noticed yourself feeling stuck, stagnant, unmotivated, unimpressed, disgruntled, conflicted or simply not in the mood for alot of *______* (you fill in the blank) it’s time to shake things up.

It’s time to get your energy up, increase your creativity and start doing and enjoying things that add Peace to your life!

So here’s your chance to get involved and start the process of intentionally impressing yourself every single day! I challenge you to take out a piece of paper and make a list of all the people, places, things and experiences that add peace to your life. Be intentional and truthful about what you add to it. Exam your list and take notice of the types of items that are on your list.

Which categories show up the most and which categories are lacking?

For now, just do the work to develop your list and I promise to discuss this process in more detail at a later time. If you have question feel free to shoot me an email at: info@designedbymelissarivers.com

If you haven’t already subscribed to my blog and signed up for my newsletter. I would love to have you join my Peace Community!

  • Simply head over to www.melissaarivers.com
  • When the pop-up form appears, enter your name and email address to subscribe to my newsletter
  • You can subscribe to my blog from the About Me page in the bottom right corner
  • You can also follow me on Instagram at: @originsofpeace and Facebook at: Origins of Peace

My 2020 Vision Board and Goal Setting Circles will start next month. Details coming soon!

Until next time,

Peace, Love & More Peace!

Melissa